Like Nails on a Chalkboard?

I remember the catch phrase "Soccer Moms" from the 90's. This is where things went wrong. No, I’m not talking about politics, religion, economics, or society as a whole. I’m talking about Soccer. Soon there will be a new resident of this great land of ours. His name; Beckham...David Beckham. He is the Pelé of today. I figure from the saying "Bend it like Beckman," he is somewhat of a star. He is married to a former pop star, Posh Spice. The Spice Girls were awful, but I digress.

They will live together in a nice neighborhood, and that is fine with me. What he brings to this country is the sport that has flares flying at players and riots that spill into the street; where cops use tear gas and rubber bullets without effect. I said rubber bullets without effect. They have to cage the bench for the players safety, and usually there is a fence keeping the fans out! I know it sounds like hockey, but soccer fans caused a riot in Argentina that killed a innocent spectator.

Killed an innocent spectator. This is what you "soccer moms" want for your kids: To play a game that is as important to the fabric of American sports as paddle boat racing? Yes, there will be a little buzz from Mr. Beckman coming to play for the L.A. Galaxy of the MLS, but that’s a small group. Where I watched the last World Cup there was a lot of buzz. I was in a bar. That was really the only good thing about the last World Cup. They opened the bars early, or stayed open late, just to have 3 guys sit at the bar, get wasted, and watch. I was with the Professor so the open bar was a treat, not the soccer.

So let me get this straight. You want your kids to play a game that is inconsequential, violent to the point of death. A game which the majority of people who watch it are tanked out of their minds. How about this: Why not sign the kid up to play baseball, one of the safest sports in the country. Only 6.1 injuries per 1000 players. Oh, and by the way.....The National Past Time! Baseball was invented by us. It broke the "Color Barrier" when Jackie Robinson was playing along side guys like Pee-Wee Reese. If you don’t know who that is, it’s okay. He played a long time ago. The next time you're at a baseball game, look for a guy wearing 42. Won’t happen. It’s been retired from baseball.

Do you remember Pelé’s number, or if he had one? Do you know what number Beckham wears? Nope, didn’t think so. With all that you're still signing four year old kids up to run around a rectangle chasing a ball while no one wins because they don’t keep score. They don’t keep score because the chances the ball goes into the goal are as good as the chance I hit a 7 iron 160 yards six feet behind the flag and pull a string that backs it into the cup. Blindfolded!!!!!

Now there are the few nut job dads that go crazy and scream at everybody in earshot. He’s either mad at the coach because his son is not getting to play as much as he thinks he should (coaches like to win), or yelling at the umpire because he thinks it was a strike. That said, it is still a game. There is no excuse for the pot belled papa trying to live vicariously through his six year old son to ruin what could be a wonderful experience for family and friends.

Do your child a favor and sign him up for baseball. Not only will they have a good time, but they will learn success and failure the same way. The right way. There is no time clock, only outs. Three in an inning, and they start by playing 5 innings. Take some time, enjoy the green grass, blue skies, and Our National Past Time.