Saturday, January 22, 2011

All-Time Cantina Critter Tournament

Here it is, what everyone has not been waiting for...the tournament to decide who is your favorite Colley Cantina 'patron' of All-Time. There are many deserving candidates, but only a chosen few will actually be seeded in the tournament with a chance to be named The All-Time Cantina Critter. Whitey and I (and Bobby Mac) will provide some initial candidates, but we more than welcome any additional suggestions. We would like to post pictures (a la the video game tourney which now, finally, after six months, we will move on to a second round), so if you have any send 'em on - whiteyandprofessor@gmail.com.

But back to our contest. We have some initial qualifiers, many of whom you will recognize due to their consistent appearance on the wrong side of the bar.  Remember, this is a battle of the best-of-the-best, not a pissing contest with your ex-boyfriend. We want your favorites - we're not here to settle old scores...

So let's get started. The envelope please!
  1. Kenny Harmon. A strong number one seed at this point. Anyone wishing to knock Kenny out better bring their A-game.
  2. Deb S'Marco. Or Smarco or S. Marco or maybe it's DeMarco. Who cares, we all know who she is and, again, a strong one seed. Also an employee at times, which only solidifies her seed seeing as she was also banned from the Cantina on multiple occasions.
  3. Mr. Robert McNamara. While he is one of the initiators of this contest, he now becomes a contestant. Anyone with their own language (McAneese) named after them is a strong contender. Single-handedly made sure the crack machine and Bud draft were money makers. Hold on - did he ever pay for those beers...
  4. Greg Herman. Chess aficionado. I believe he also had a freakin' tab at Starbucks. C'mon man, they're not going to give you the patent on that thing...
  5. Vic Demise. Well, his name is Vic Demise. 
  6. Taylor. The best posture on a man drinking pitchers of draft beer. Ever.
  7. Nathan Berger. Yep, Nathan. Probably still there. Nice guy. Probably...still there.
  8. Vegas. At last report, Vegas is a current employee of the Cantina. Which boggles my mind. Well, no it doesn't. Anyone who calls themselves Vegas can't really be looking for less attention.
  9. Miami Rob. I don't remember much about Miami Rob except that he was banned from the Cantina every so often and he wore flip flops all the time. 
  10. Country, or, as we all know him, Hammer Down. One of a kind. Just when you thought you'd seen it all this guy came along. "Hammer down, Robert! Hammer down!"
  11. Billy Baggs. As a rule we're trying to avoid employees. Alright, no we're not. Billy, also known as The Mayor of Colley Avenue, has been a Cantina staple for time immemorial. Could be a sentimental favorite.
  12. Steve Fernandez. Ah, Steve. The only person I've ever truly feared was going to kill someone (Herman) on a golf course. His inclusion on this list is sure to piss him off - which is only one reason why he's on it.
  13. Wild Bill. His name was Bill, but no one called him Bill. Everyone called him Wild Bill and he knew it. I have no clue what his chosen profession was, but it might as well have been drinking at the Cantina five days a week. 
  14. Matt Brown. I think his last name was Brown. Regardless, Matt will always be famous for his "breaking big rocks into smaller rocks" comment, and was pretty much known as not the smartest guy you'd ever met.
That's your start. Trust me, we know of many other candidates but we want to hear yours. We'll rank everyone and start the tourney, well, as soon as we feel like it. Soon. Happy reminiscing! (HERE is what the bracket looks like currently, likely...no, definitely going to change before the contest begins!)

See a Critter? We do!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge - Round Two

We have our round two match-ups! There has been much further ado, so without any more here they are:
See the first round results and entire bracket HERE.




PAC-MAN REGION




  
#1 Pac-Man v. #5 Tron. Pac-Man cruised to a first round victory over Frogger - arguably a better game then Tron which squeaked out a win over Defender. If Tron wins this the fix might be in...


#2 Gauntlet v. #3 Ms. Pac-Man. Two juggernauts going head-to-head. Will it be a Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man match-up to make it to the final four? Whitey sure hopes not, but then Whitey is still circling the drain in Gauntlet.






SPACE INVADERS REGION







#1 Space Invaders v. #5 Duck Hunt. Duck Hunt is a sentimental favorite. Who can forget standing two feet away from the TV with an electronic gun knocking ducks out of the sky? At the same time, Space Invaders is a force to reckoned with. 



#2 Dig Dug v. #3 Mario Bros. Ouch. I wouldn't want to be in Vegas calling this one - there's a good deal of momentum for both of these games. I...we...I have no idea....







DONKEY KONG REGION 





#1 Donkey Kong v. #4 Joust. Joust took out Golden Tee which was one of the tournament dark horses. But does it have enough to eliminate one of the greatest video games of all-time?




#3 Star Wars v. #6 Pole Position. Pole Position eliminated Street Fighter in a first round upset. Star Wars posted a comfortable victory over Q*Bert. Two ground breaking games in their genres go head-to-head. Whitey is betting on the steering wheel.






PONG REGION





#1 Pong v. #5 Rampage. Rampage takes down Centipede and sets its sights on the granddaddy of them all. Pong is not fazed.



#3 Galaga v. #7 Paperboy. In what may be the most surprising upset of the first round, Paperboy sent Asteroids packing. Galaga wants a shot at Pong, but the kid on a bike has other ideas...