Friday, October 26, 2007

Bizarro World?

For those of you who don't understand what the "Bizarro World" is, let me explain it quickly. In the Superman Comic Series by DC Comics, there is an alternate and opposite world. Superman has an evil opposite of himself, and hello is goodbye. If I go any further, one may draw the conclusion that I'm a nerd. Far from it, just know it from Seinfeld.

Anyhoo. I was running through the news of the day and found a Bizarro World right here on earth.

The Christian Science Monitor had an article that answered a question many people have asked me in the past. What happens to the merchandise of the losing teams in sports? You know the ones claiming the guys that lost really won. You won't walk around in the United States and see a guy sitting on a park bench wearing a 2007 AL Champion Cleveland Indians t-shirt. The shirts were made because they were a game away from winning. So where do they go?

Africa my friend. They send them to the poor and needy in third world countries. I was in Chicago at the Museum of Natural History looking at a picture of an African child in a Batman shirt. At first I dismissed it as pop culture all around the world. After finding this, I realize my attitude was closed minded. That child had a smile while living in poverty. He could care less what was on his shirt. Maybe he was just happy to have a shirt, even if he might not know from where his next meal was coming.

Those shirts and merchandise go to help people. I know that they could care less who wins, but if you were to go to that place one might think the Chicago Bears won the Superbowl last year. I'm happy to see that the clothes are put to good use, and it is a great help to those who need it instead of ending up in an incinerator somewhere here in States. MLB started this year by signing on with other sports leagues to help.

Even if your a fan of no one in the series, at least hope that it goes seven games. It will benefit someone...and it will be one less day until Spring Training '08.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

6 Pack?

Whitey says:
Rockies in 6!

Say What?

With the World Series upon us and the NFL in full-swing, Whitey and I feel the need, nay the duty, to alert all of our faithful readers to many of the inane comments consistently issued by purportedly intelligent commentators. These guys (and sometimes gals) get paid to spout some the most banal drivel this side of your local news.

Watch any of the side show NFL games and you'll know what we're talking about (Craig Bolerjack anyone?). Whitey loves Tim McCarver. I think Dick Enberg should be banned from announcing any event not involving ice skates, strawberries and cream, or azaleas ("Oh My!").

Here are some of our favorites (?) :

  1. "At the end of the day..." The classic. Uttered by coaches and commentators alike. At the end of the day it's amazing you still have a job.
  2. "That's a great football play," or "...wonderful golf shot." Hey moron, I know what sport I'm watching. I would be surprised if Tiger Woods hit a stunning half-court volley. This is one of John Madden's favorites ala, "He's a great football player." Incredible insight. Along these same lines is, "He's a gamer."
  3. "Crafty Lefthander." During the World Series game tonight, start your stopwatch and see how long it takes for Tim McCarver to call Jeff Francis a "Crafty Lefthander." Or how long it takes for them to mention the Yankees. It's a toss up.
  4. "Scrappy" or "Never-say-die attitude." The Rockies will get this one thrown at them early and often, especially if they are losing 10-0 in the third.
  5. "Catching lightning in a bottle..." Again, this will said by someone within the first ten minutes of tonight's World Series game. Guaranteed.
  6. "If the season ended today..." Well, it doesn't, so we don't care.
  7. "Chop wood" or "Blue Collar" or "Lunch-Pail guys" or "Grinders" or "Insert your favorite workingman's phrase here." These guys just go to work, albeit for slightly more money than your local Ford assembly line employee. I don't know how they do it...
  8. "Whoever wins the turnover battle..." Rinse. Repeat next week.
  9. "They have to play as if they have nothing to lose." Really? This is the "What Me Worry?" line which comes flying out every time a team appears woefully over-matched. Most teams do have something to lose...like the game.
  10. Anything said by Skip Bayless. If you see Skip, change the channel. Now.
Remember, the mute button is your friend. And be on the lookout tonight for two guys: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. You might see them.

Classless?

My first major League experience was at Yankee Stadium. My father and I went to a game against the White Sox. I was never a AL fan and never will be. I think the DH is an abomination. However the mystique of Yankee Stadium is haunting. All the great players that have placed that franchise on so many banners, past and present, is mind blowing. My take from the experience was that Yankee fans were rude and the owner was a tad cranky at the time, the early 80's.

Forward to the years that Rudy ran crime from the streets and the Yankees started their run to a few rings. Seinfeld placed Costanza in the front office of the Yankees and Buck Showalter lost his job. Along comes one of the classiest cats in baseball, Joe Torre. Along with Rivera, Posada, the sprinkling of Sheffield, Lofton, Aaron Bleepin' Boone and the maturation of Derek Jeter, the Yankees as an organization became somewhat palatable.

All that went out the window last Thursday. Offering a guy that has been second only to Bobby Cox in post season births being a 40% pay cut and an incentive laden contract is classless. There were no negotiations, showing as much disrespect as would canning the guy in Spring Training. To offer a manager a lame duck contract is as classy as booing A-Rod after a MVP season.

Yes Yankee fans, you will now feel like the Storm Troopers on the Death Star. Bend over and kiss your tokus good-bye. There will be chaos in the Bronx. Big Stein is back making decisions for the sake of being relevant. Brian Cashman, the Senior VP and GM of the Yankees, has got to feel kicked around like a hacky sack at a Lalapalooza tour stop. Cashman got to be the guy who offered that joke to Torre. And that is what it is, a joke!

Torre won 4 World Series Titles, 12 Divisions Titles, and was the AL Manager of the Year twice. Bobby Cox hasn't won the titles that Torre has, but has a longer Post Season streak and a job. Bobby doesn't have a carrot at the end of a stick contract and Torre's next one won't either. If I were the Yankees, I would have at least locked the guy up in the organization, but they can't think that far ahead. They will think twice when Torre shows up across town in Shea Stadium taking the Subway Series, or in Boston at which time the Death Star implodes in on itself.

The Atlanta Braves have stuck with Bobby Cox as he has caught and surpassed the record for being ejected from games by a manager and only won one World Series. He is their guy, and has continued to be for 16 years. Atlanta had made a run into the post season for 14 straight years before the resurgence of the New York Mets. Cox didn't make it to the playoffs for a couple of seasons, but he still has a contract and is not looking over his shoulder.

The over inflated expectations of the Boss has sent one of the best managers into the booth. If you can't remember how bad it was in the late 70's, and 80's, just wait Yankee fans. History repeats itself. You can put them in a new stadium, but you can't make them have class. As long as the business people are running the baseball operations, Cashman may want to keep his head on a swivel.

All is calm in Hotlanta; and bedlam in the Bronx.