Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge

Well, well, well. Whitey was stirred by the references to the Commodore 64/VIC-20 in my last post to discuss computer/video game systems. Tandy, Odyssey, Colecovision, Intellivision, Atari, Sega, Nintendo, and you get the idea. This conversation quickly moved from computers to video games, on to arcade games and...

So…due to the incessant quest for knowledge that makes Whitey who he is we present for you: Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge. We have collected a cast of 32 classic arcade games, every one of which saw its inception before 1990. During the ‘90’s video gaming systems advanced to the point where, well, you might as well just play the thing at home.

But before then we had two options: put in a quarter, or go home and play a lame knock-off of your favorite game. Yes kids, there was a time when there were video games and VIDEO GAMES. Sure, you could play Pac-Man or Donkey Kong on your Atari in the basement, but they were terrible. Nintendo made everything much more palatable in 1985, but it would be many years later before home systems matched what you could find at the local 7-11.

SO…here we go. Whitey insisted that every game involved cost a quarter to play in its heyday. We have eliminated games released after 1990 (so sorry Mortal Combat. And NBA Jam, although not so much.) Golden Tee and Dragon's Lair are slight exceptions to this. Golden Tee didn't used to be the money pit it is today, and Dragon's Lair was so revolutionary at the time that it has to be in the tourney. Off to the NIT go Kung-Fu Master, Zaxxon, Breakout, Berzerk, Track & Field, Armor Attack, Battlezone, Vanguard, Lunar Lander, Commando, Phoenix, and the ultimate bubble game on the bubble, Bubbles. We might be willing to have a play-in game if there is significant uproar.

We ranked the 32 games in a painstaking process involving, in no particular order, perusing other websites and beer. Four regions will play off against one another for the chance to be crowned The Best Arcade Game of All-Time.

The four regions are each named for their respective #1 seed: Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Pong, and Space Invaders. Each game has an overall seed, but we seed them here in their corresponding regional bracket. Should you wish to see the big picture and where we are going with this it is HERE.

ALL of the brackets can now be found HERE.

Soon to come, Whitey wants board games and pinball!

Sport or Skill? Jay Asked, We Respond

We have had a request to revisit Sport or Skill? with an eye toward deciding the most physically demanding Sport. This request comes courtesy of Jay who, at last check (probably 20 years ago), was settling in to life as a Canadian. But before he opted for a life of ice and G8 summits we had a lively childhood in Mariemont. (Update: he lives in Buffalo now...maybe it wasn't Canada...oh well.) I have a few great memories involving Jay, which I’ll enumerate here:

1. HBO. I had never heard of HBO before – we certainly didn’t have this thing in our house. But one evening we were herded out of the living room – I recall something like sliding doors between the living room and where we were – as his parents settled in to watch…I want to say it was Flashdance. I remember trying to peek through the doors to get a glimpse of whatever untold forbidden things had to be on display in the other room. I still haven’t seen Flashdance, and I don’t think I’m missing much.

This brings to mind another scenario involving Brian and Rex watching Purple Rain with Mrs. Hawk in the room. She would throw a towel over the TV during the racy parts. Oh, to be young again.

2. Commodore 64. We had a Commodore VIC-20. I remember playing games that you loaded with a cassette player. In fact, you had to pop the tape out and put in another every so often. But Jay had a Commodore 64, with a color monitor, and I remember playing Monopoly on the thing. Monopoly? On a computer? God has surely smiled upon us.

3. I remember thinking Jay’s mom was going to beat the tar out of Jeremy Drake one day (she didn't.) I don’t remember what he did, but man was she mad.

4. Jay came back to visit when we were in high school and introduced me to this new rap group. Two chicks. Believe me when I tell you I didn’t think they were saying, “Push It.”

Anyway, back to our topic. For our discussion of the most physically demanding Sport we’re going to use a list from ESPN which, in some stroke of serendipity, seems to have some of the same ideas as our original Sport or Skill? post (Whitey pointed this ESPN thing out to me afterwards, of course. And I'll take alliteration for 500, Alex.) I’d like to say great minds think alike, but I’m not willing to give them that praise.

Below is the top 15 - again their entire list is HERE. They asked a panel of experts to rank various “sports” in numerous categories and this was the result.

SPORT	END	STR	PWR	SPD	AGI	FLX	NER	DUR	HAN	ANA	TOTAL	RANK
Boxing	8.63	8.13	8.63	6.38	6.25	4.38	8.88	8.50	7.00	5.63	72.375	1
Ice Hockey	7.25	7.13	7.88	7.75	7.63	4.88	6.00	8.25	7.50	7.50	71.750	2
Football	5.38	8.63	8.13	7.13	6.38	4.38	7.25	8.50	5.50	7.13	68.375	3
Basketball	7.38	6.25	6.50	7.25	8.13	5.63	4.13	7.75	7.50	7.38	67.875	4
Wrestling	6.63	8.38	7.13	5.13	6.38	7.50	5.00	6.75	4.25	6.38	63.500	5
Martial Arts	5.00	5.88	7.75	6.38	6.00	7.00	6.63	5.88	6.00	6.88	63.375	6
Tennis	7.25	5.13	7.13	6.75	7.75	5.63	3.00	5.00	8.38	6.75	62.750	7
Gymnastics	5.38	6.13	6.63	5.00	6.38	10.00	7.50	6.88	4.50	4.13	62.500	8
Baseball/Softball	4.63	5.75	7.63	6.50	6.75	4.75	5.13	5.63	9.25	6.25	62.250	9
Soccer	7.75	4.50	5.13	7.25	8.25	4.75	3.63	6.25	6.50	7.50	61.500	10
Skiing: Alpine	5.13	5.25	6.00	7.38	6.13	5.63	8.38	6.00	5.13	5.63	60.625	11
Water Polo	7.88	6.63	6.88	5.38	6.38	5.00	4.25	6.38	6.25	5.63	60.625	11
Rugby	6.75	7.00	6.38	5.88	6.00	4.13	6.50	7.88	4.38	5.63	60.500	13
Lacrosse	6.63	5.13	5.75	7.00	6.63	4.75	4.38	6.13	7.13	6.88	60.375	14
Rodeo: Steer Wrestling	4.00	7.00	7.88	3.88	4.88	5.00	7.88	6.88	5.13	4.00	56.500	15

I’m very impressed “Steer Wrestling” made the list. I can guarantee you that, had we made our own list, we would have forgotten all about rodeo events. We’re here to give you the most physically demanding Sport, not the most physically demanding activity you can perform with barnyard animals.

Along with rodeo, we can eliminate skiing and gymnastics. Not Sports. ESPN's list has 60 Sport/Skills, and here is our top 10 for Most Physically Demanding Sport:

1. Boxing/MMA/Wrestling/Martial Arts. Instead of listing these items separately we’re going to lump them all together. All are Sports, and all involve two people trying to physically dominate each other. Sure, there are mental aspects, but they ain’t chess. I’m not going to give you a chance against Brock Lesnar because you can outthink him.

2. Rugby. Rugby can be summed up thusly: Take a boxing ring. Now get rid of the ropes, move it outside, expand the ring to about 500 feet, grow grass on it, give each guy 14 friends, throw an oblong ball out there, and blow a whistle. Have fun.

3. Hockey.

4. Football. Unless you're the kicker. Some would argue that football should beat hockey. We say you're wrong.

5. Soccer. Run, run, run, run and run some more.

6. Water Polo. You try treading water for eight minutes. Now, here’s a ball. Oh, and did I mention that guy over there is going to try and drown you…

7. Lacrosse. This is debatable - lacrosse might well deserve to be higher on this list.

8. Swimming. I know, I know, it’s timed, which should technically eliminate swimming from consideration. But they also have relays involving ‘teams,’ and, well, it’s tough. Of course, this opens the door for a whole host of Track & Field events…

9. Tennis. After watching the Isner/Mahut marathon, we’re putting tennis here. That said, some tennis matches, especially for women, seem to involve less work and last as long as, say, washing the dog.

10. Basketball. Suck it NBA.

11. Rowing/Crew. Again, timed. And in boats. And again, I don’t care.

That’s it.

Whitey's a Lefty...Catcher?

Yes, Whitey is in his right mind. A large percentage of our Presidents have been lefties - great thinkers and philosophers. But there is one thing that Whitey can't quite square with the way the world works. Baseball is righty biased! As a kid growing up, one thing I hated hearing more than "eat your veggies" was,"You’re a lefty? Go to first.”

There were guys I knew in high school that were left-handed with fast, great hands, but they had to play in the outfield. I got The Professor to do a report on the baseball (still to come), and he informed me that they used to run the bases clockwise.

I can think of a few reasons for the change to the current setup, where the bases are run counterclockwise. Americans wanted to be the opposite of England in every way. Thus we run horses, dogs, cars…and the bases in the opposite direction of the English.

Second, and more probable, is that the throws from what would be 2nd, 3rd, and short would be much more difficult for the right-handed player in a clockwise game. I admit those throws would be hard, but there’s one position that really grinds Whitey.

As previously mentioned, Whitey is a southpaw. So why can his ragged arm get looked at in his late 30's as a pitcher but - as one of the most athletic players on his team - couldn't Whitey have been a catcher? No chance. Not even a sniff of The Tools of Ignorance!

The right-handed batter? With more kids switching to the left side to hit righty pitching, this argument may hold less sway. The throw to third? How about that snap throw to first? Can we even consider a left-handed catcher? Not in a sport as biased as baseball.

PROFESSOR'S NOTE:
Statistics from www.baseball-reference.com: (if these are off, they shouldn't be off by much)
2010 in MLB
Right-handed pitchers:  382
Left-handed pitchers:    138

Bats Right:                          610
Bats Left:                            287
Bats Switch:                         87

Whitey and I were discussing this topic after watching the College World Series and seeing, in our opinion, too many right-handed 1st basemen. As a fellow lefty, I feel Whitey’s pain. Unless you’re a pitcher, lefties get the shaft in baseball. I could think of no other sport where there is as much of a bias against being left-handed as there is in baseball.

Lefties have the opportunity to play four of the nine positions, not even receiving consideration at four (2nd, 3rd, short, and catcher). And righties have the opportunity to play all nine – no position is considered exclusively left-handed.

Soccer Says Goodbye...Again.

The U.S had a decent showing in the World Cup. Again. And they lost to Ghana. Again. So what’s it all mean?

Not a whole hell of a lot, I’m afraid. The World Cup has risen in popularity here over the years, but three days after grabbing the headlines the team returns home after a ho-hum game which, quite honestly, they deserved to lose.

The problem is no one cares enough about the sport’s league (MLS) and teams for soccer to have much impact on America’s sport landscape. Soccer, unlike hockey, is trying to build a fan base in reverse, from the national to the local.

Hockey’s history here allowed it to build at least a reasonable amount of local fans before the craziness of the 1980 Olympics and the subsequent hoopla. Even now there are a substantial amount of people who will watch Olympic hockey and not a second of the NHL.

The same is true for soccer except it’s even worse. With little support for local teams (it is growing) the popularity of the sport seems to be on an eternal four year cycle. Most of the games aren’t on TV, and only occasionally will you see scores/highlights on SportsCenter.

[Oh good, there we go with another bad call in the England/Germany game. Replay anyone?]

Soccer is right on the heels of the NHL in terms of average attendance, and some of teams do quite well (Seattle is averaging over 36,000 per game, but if your alternative was the Mariners you might watch soccer too.) I think that’s going to be the critical mass for the sport - battling the NHL for fourth place - at least until Mexico invades.

Now back to our regularly scheduled sports.

WHITEY CHIMES IN:
How can one be expected to take a sport seriously when the coach is wearing a scarf? Whitey is sure there are people that will point to NFL Films to see Lombardi rocking a scarf, but that was due to the ice all around, and the 50 years of technology that has brought us warmth with thin layers. That was no fashion statement; that was survival. And they wore suits, hats, and ties also. And so did the people in the stands.

The only person Whitey has seen in a scarf besides the English coach was Mick, sitting with former President Clinton at the USA match. Whitey doesn't see Joe Torre rockin' a scarf, or the Zen Master going to ascot and top hat.

That said, England just got rocked by a spry young German squad. They got run off the pitch. Fortunately it's early Sunday, and the American soccer fans have no reason to be dragging on Monday. It's late evening in England, and there will be a smell of ‘still drunk’ if they show up to work at all. That's a bad defeat.

Sorry for the quality on this, but I couldn't resist. Be forewarned, if you double-click on the video you'll be directed to the site on YouTube where this was originally posted - and where there is quite lively commentary.