Merry Christmas...

Thanks Coach.

NCAA football is one shifty, big business. Yet again this year we have no playoff in place (for the BCS), and yet again head coaches seem to treat jobs like they're junior-high relationships. Here's a run-down of some the recent changes we have seen:

• Rich Rodriguez. Leaves West Virginia for Michigan. Good choice for him. Look for West Virginia players like Pat White and Steve Slaton to take a much more serious look at the NFL now. One rumor on a West Virginia website ponders current Alabama head coach Nick Saban as a possible replacement for Rodriguez. Shocked? Not really. Should Saban seriously consider the offer, it would be his fourth team in the past four years (LSU, Miami Dolphins, Alabama).

• Bobby Petrino. Leaves the Atlanta Falcons for Arkansas. Petrino was hired after the Arkansas faithful ran Houston Nutt out of town (now at Mississippi). This one has gotten much play in the press, mostly for the ridiculous way in which it was handled by Petrino. Petrino left Louisville after last season to coach the Falcons for 13 games this year before bolting to Fayetteville. That's three teams, two years. Don't unpack Bobby.

• Urban Meyer left Utah for Florida. This means Ron Zook, who was canned at Florida after having the unenviable job of replacing Steve Spurrier, moved to Illinois. The Ole Ball Coach, by the way, left Florida for the Washington Redskins where he had his head handed to him and promptly returned to the SEC in South Carolina. Weeee!
  

• Mark Dantonio leaves Cincinnati for Michigan State (in one of those "Right before the bowl game" moves last year, ala Rodriguez this year), prompting Brian Kelly to leave Central Michigan for Cincinnati. This scenario plays itself out every year in what I like to call Food Chain Coaching - Big Guy eats Mid-Major Guy's coach who in turn eats Even Smaller Guy's coach.

You get the idea. There are a couple of interesting points that appear when one looks at patterns in head coaching at the college ranks. Of course, I will discus those here...

1. Contract? What contract? Maybe you heard this from your favorite head coach recently, "I have no intentions of leaving. I am committed to bringing a winner to (insert school)." Or, "I have not been contacted by (insert higher Food Chain school)." Do not believe a word of it. Did your favorite school's head coach just sign a long-term deal? For lots o' cash? Be worried, as that acts as blood in the water for the Big Guys circling the head coach feeding pool.
2. The Players? Ha! How coaches like Saban and Petrino expect to recruit after strapping everyone in for a carnival ride I have no idea. What I find most disturbing about football coaches flipping teams like this is how the players are expected, no compelled, to ride it out. Not only has Mr. Changing-My-Mind-Tomorrow recruited these kids to play at their university with some obviously specious arguments, the players were, and are, expected to live up to their commitment to play at said university unless they would like to accept some rather extreme penalties. The message? Graduate, get a job, and feel free to blatantly lie to any and everyone to get what you want.
3. The NFL? Don't do it. Unless you're going to Dallas. Like NCAA basketball and the NBA (Rick Pitino anyone?), NCAA football is not a breeding ground for future NFL coaches. Don't believe me? Ask Lou Holtz. Or Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, Rich Brooks, Pete Carroll...and mentioning Pete Carroll...
4. It's the program, not the coach. Maybe, but I highly doubt it. Success breeds more success in NCAA football and, as recent history would suggest, just being Notre Dame does not give you the right to actually win football games. I heard Beano Cook this morning on ESPN radio running down the top college football programs and was struck by how wrong I think he is. It's the coach, not the program, which seems to bring success. Should Florida trade Urban Meyer for Dave Shula, I doubt they are in for many winning seasons. Anyone think if Pete Carroll leaves USC for, let's say, Texas, he wouldn't take all USC's success with him? If you still think some schools have a god-given right to victory, remember that as of the third weekend in November this year we had Missouri and Kansas playing a game with National Championship implications. Where were they ranked in the preseason? Ha! Instead of ranking the top programs in college football, we should rank the top coaches.
   

Enjoy your coach while you have him folks, he may be on the next train to, well, somewhere else.

7 for 07?

1. Michael Vick - Vick received a 23 month sentence after pleading guilty to two felonies stemming from housing a dog fighting kennel in his backyard. Literally. Vick and his homeys got time in the can after the cousin of Vick, who lived Vick's Surry County Virginia house, got busted for Hippie Lettuce. After serving the warrant at the house, the authorities discovered the aptly named operation "Bad Newz Kennels". Without funding from Vick, the entire operation would not have existed. After all his boys dropped the dime on him, he entered his plea. See him around October 2009.
2. Steroids - Of course, the Mitchell Report is fresh in our collective conscience, and while most people haven't read more than three paragraphs the popular sentiment is "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" Wait. Everyone just keep your powder dry. Jose Canseco went 10 for 10 in his book "Juiced". However, he is still trying to get his next book published, so there is an agenda with anything he says at this point. He stated in an interview on the FOX Business Network that the Mitchell Report was incomplete, and that he never saw Roger Clemens in the steroid crowd. That's funny. In 1998, when Clemens was with Boston, Canseco was traded to Boston and subsequently was part of the Toronto Blue Jays the next season. The Rocket and Canseco in Toronto together...and the Rocket is reborn. Sounds a little ironic that Roger is in the Mitchell Report and the Juice King didn't see him in that light. What bombshell will he be peddling now? Can you say A-Rod? I digress from that story to say that other sports have problems with Performance Enhancing Drugs, but baseball is the face of the story.
3. New England Patriots - Wow! What can you say but wow? After a first round draft pick and some 750,000 dollars in fines were taken from the Patriots for "Spygate," Belichick and the boys have run every team off the field, including a lingering effect that has their opponents with just one win after playing the Patriots the week before. Hopefully the New England Patriots will go 19 - 0, a feat that will forever cork the 1972 Dolphins' egos and never again will they gleefully pop the champagne. Tom Brady and company have scored early and often against what could be considered the best shot from every team they have played. We could be watching history in the making; that is, if you have the NFL Network. The beauty is that they get the 49ers' first round pick this year. Ironic? Lose a draft pick, win the Super Bowl, and still get one of the first picks in the coming draft. WOW!
4. Tim Tebow - The first underclassmen to win the Heisman Award. After backing up Chris Leak in the Florida Gators National Championship season his Freshman year, Tebow guided the Gators to a three loss record, with over 20 passing and running touchdowns accounting for 49 end zone trips. The SEC, known for their bruising schedule, has never had a 20 touchdown rusher. This in itself is a huge feat, seeeing that he is the quarterback. Percy Harvin (WR) is salivating at this point. He will be the front runner for the Heisman, considering Tebow has set the bar very high for the position of QB and the Gator's having the top incoming recruiting class in the country. Throw in Emmanuel Moody the RB transfer from USC and Urban could have a squad in '08.
5. Appalachian State - Doing the Maize and Blue in the Big House. The Mountaineers went 11-2 winning their third National Championship in a row. Somehow they had the time for a playoff. Seeded fifth, they beat Delaware for the title after dispatching James Madison University, the University of Richmond, and Eastern Washington University. A 16 team playoff at the collegiate level = Novel Idea.
6. O.J. Simpson - After being acquitted for the double murder of his former wife and a guy in the wrong place, O.J. and his cronies got all twisted up in a sting to retrieve "his" belongings. I thought all that was supposed to be property of the Goldman family, to ah.......settle that Civil Judgement. Some one needs to be printing t-shirts that say, "O.J. Stays in Vegas". There's a good chance you'd make a buck or two. His Keystone cop escapades in Sin City may ironically be snake eyes for the Juice.
7. Gambling - NBA Official Tim Donahey was caught fixing games for his buddies who - surprise! - happened to be small time bookies. There is no way of knowing whether or not this could be happening unless you watched him. People heard "whispers" but wouldn't dare accuse someone of such an act. You're looking at a quick trip to court for libel at that very second. You better have proof. The Feds did...and caught Tim in a pinch.
   

Mitchell Me This

How about my game back you weasels?

Joe Nuxhall

This past summer I was lucky enough to attend the Reds' game which included a pre-game ceremony honoring three of Cincinnati's great broadcasters: Marty Brennaman, Waite Hoyt, and Joe Nuxhall. There were speeches, hugs, and much applause, but the thing that got me was the replaying of some of their famous calls of Reds' moments. Baseball has been a part of my life as long as I can remember, and Marty and Joe were the ones to send the Reds action (or lack thereof) through my radio.

Marty was, and still is, the professional announcer while Joe was the old left-hander (and the youngest any hander ever in the big leagues), your unabashed homer in the Reds' radio booth...

In the days before 24 hour sports coverage on dozens of cable channels, if we weren't actually at the ballgame Marty and Joe were our connection to the Reds. In fact, many people chose to bring their radios to the ballpark to listen while watching the action live...

Joe Nuxhall passed away Thursday evening, and while we may never hear the old left-hander "Rounding third and heading for home" again, we will always remember the summer days and nights when he brought home all the joys and frustrations of Reds baseball. From all of us in Reds country, good night Joe.

To read more about how Joe touched us all, go here.

I'll Take That...and a bag of chips!

The famous auction house Christie's had a little sale last night which, it appears, was attended by none of my closest friends for some reason (I'm looking at you Whitey). Having spammed everyone I know with a short wish list of reasonably priced artwork, I figured I could check the web this morning and see what my good pals had decided to bestow upon me this holiday season.

Imagine my dismay. My only hope is Whitey may be "anonymous telephone bidder," but knowing his flair for publicity I highly doubt it. But on to the paintings! Being the Renaissance Man I am, I feel highly qualified to critique some of the offerings from last night. While you may say, "My kid could do that...," you would be wrong. Or your kid needs better PR.

1. Andy Warhol: "Liz" This beautiful thing was owned by Hugh Grant, and supposedly it is a "heavy-handed" version. Regardless, it sold for $21 million which netted Mr. Grant a nice return on his investment - he bought it in 2001 for $3.5 million. Rumor is her eyes follow you. Creepy. Or endearing. Goes well with white walls or Miami Vice decor. I was going to put her in the bathroom for reasons I need not divulge here. Alas.





2. Lucian Freud: “Ib and Her Husband” Freud is still alive (this was painted in 1992) and probably looking on in dismay as I doubt he let this go for more than $100. It was sold by a woman in Seattle for $19.3 million. That's Freud's daughter (Isobel) and, one would hope, her husband in the painting. I like the radiator in the background. Charming.






3. Ed Ruscha: "Burning Gas Station" Ed is also still alive and presumably not hurting for cash. This painting was sold by a guy in San Francisco for $6.9 million. I like it, but I tend to go for the apocalyptic more than most. Good for the kids' room if your kids happen to be named Pugsley and Wednesday.



4. Mark Rothko: Untitled I like the name, or lack thereof. More than many other artists, except maybe Pollock, Rothko often generates the, "My kid could do that" comment. While that may be true, your kid didn't do it and isn't buying you a new fleet of Maseratis anytime soon with the $34.2 million they would have made. This was the big boy at the auction, fetching the highest price tag. Good for the geometry teacher on your Christmas list or convincing people you have a blue flat-screen TV. Worth more than the GNP of many African countries.




5. Richard Prince: "Piney Woods Nurse" $6 million. Go figure. This is one in a series of 'Nurse' paintings by Prince, most of which I like better than this one. If you see one in a doctor's office near you it will serve as a gentle reminder as to why medical school is so #$%damn expensive...and why your insurance rates are so high.








6. Gerhard Richter: "Düsenjäger" Jet planes! For the low, low price of $11.2 million! I think it would look better on velvet with Tom Cruise peering out of the cockpit. Probably be worth more too!






7. Jeff Koons: "Blue Diamond" Aptly named, this monstrosity is seven feet wide and almost eight feet tall. The only reason one should spend $11.8 million on this is if you: A) have a joint bank account with the artist; B) are the artist's representative (which the buyer was) or; C) receive some documentation that it is indeed a real diamond. If you have someone present "C" to you, I have a bridge in Brooklyn in which you might be interested...



8. Basquiat: "Sugar Ray Robinson" I'm not sure this is the actual painting which was sold last night, but it was the only representation of the same name I could find. The New York Times describes it as, "...a brightly colored hulking figure in shorts and gloves..." which this painting most definitely is not. Nevertheless, something titled "Sugar Ray Robinson" by Basquiat sold for $6.5 million last night. And yes, your kid probably could have knocked this painting out.

Most of my information came from this article in the New York Times. I would assume most of our loyal readers accidentally discarded the postcard reminder sent to them by Christie's concerning this sale. Fear not! Tonight you have a second chance to buy me some stuff to adorn my presently blank apartment walls! Without further ado, a preview of tonight's auction across town at Sotheby's...

1. Jeff Koons: "Jim Beam - Caboose" No, it's not a painting, but it's a caboose! When Koons wasn't chopping out hideously over-sized blue diamonds he was working on the choo-choo's! A steal at $1-1.5 million. I'd like it more if it was an actual scale representation, but beggars can't be choosers.







2. Mark Rothko: Untitled We may have missed out on a Rothko last night, but we're in luck...another is on the block tonight. I like to call this one "A View From the Moon." Goes with any decor (especially mine). Hope you saved your pennies as the starting bid is $12 million.








3. Zeng Fanzhi: Mask Series 99-A-2 Easily the creepiest thing for sale. This is what you get that pesky in-law just to force them to have to put the thing on the wall every time you come over. In fact, I'm making this our banner just to creep y'all out. Should you want to give this to someone, bids start at $900,000. I think it's worth the look on your Mother-in-Law's face Christmas morning: "An original Fanzhi...you shouldn't have!"





4. Mike Kelley: "Written in the Wind" This one is a bit difficult to grasp through the picture. There are a couple of these 'installation pieces' for sale, and this one is my favorite. It includes: a cardboard box, 10 found stuffed animals, coat rack with jacket and shirt, and ten wall texts. The dimensions are variable, as you could presumably heap it all a corner, graffiti the walls yourself, and then deal with your wife's sour looks for the duration. Little does she know you dropped $1.2 mil on this over-sized diorama. Trust me, the subtlety will be lost on her. Feel free to explain.
   




5. Damien Hirst: "Adam and Eve (Banished From the Garden)" If the previous work didn't getcha, I offer this beauty. It includes: Painted steel and glass vitrine with 2 metal gurneys, 2 cloth dummies, 2 metal buckets, various medical instruments, 1 spool of twine, 2 needles, 2 rubber gloves, 2 rubber plugs, chicken bones, one plate and sandwich, 3 fish hooks and chain, and cloth. I like the chicken bones, three fish hooks, and sandwich. If you buy this, make sure you find those items quickly as they will probably be your only source of nourishment after whomever you live with finds out you spent $3 million on this wonderful item. Enjoy.




6. Ellsworth Kelly: "Dark Grey Curve" Looks more like a dark black curve to me. Once you spend $1-1.5 million on this, go ahead and name it whatever you want. Whitey likes "Slice of Licorice." My personal favorite is "Bad Cheese."










7. Andy Warhol: "Campbell's Soup Can (Pepper Pot)" We've all seen these before. You can buy a reprint of this Warhol masterpiece (in practically any flavor) for probably around $20. Or you can buy the original for $9 million. Your choice, but remember: you always get what you pay for.








8. Francis Bacon: "Second Version of Study for Bullfight No. 1" Last but not least, this is my favorite. It looks like a miniature bull is chasing its tail in the corner of your dining room floor. Sotheby's doesn't even put a price on this on their website ("Estimate Upon Request"), but the early word on the street is it will go for at least $35 million. Don't be shy, I'm worth every penny.
   
   
   

Check out Sotheby's for more information and a complete list of items for sale. You have to register, but it's quick, painless and, most importantly, free. Coming Soon! Whitey & The Professors' First Annual If I Get One Toy For Christmas, It Better Be One of These Christmas List. No need to shop for the kids 'til then.

Take the bump?

C.C. Sabathia has been named the American League Cy Young Award winner for the 2007 season. When we last saw C.C. he was getting shelled by the Red Sox. His teammates didn't help much, giving him little run support against Josh Beckett. Beckett was lights out in his two meetings with C.C. in the American League Championship Series. He came in second with 11 fewer first place votes. He did, however, win the World Series this past October.

If it is any consolation, I'll just tip this to you. By winning the Cy Young, C.C. has become only the second Cleveland Indian to win the award. He also becomes the first African-American to win the award in the American League since 1971, when Vida Blue won (trivia: who was last African-American winner in the National League?). Sabathia topped the bigs in innings pitched with 241. He went at least 6 innings in every game during the season, had a record of 19-7 in 34 starts, a 3.21 ERA, and received a $2.25 million bump in pay by winning the Cy Young. He gets a $250,000 bonus and will earn $11 million in 2008 instead of $9 million.

An even bigger pay bump could soon be coming: Sabathia can become a free agent after the 2008 season. At 27 years of age and a dominate south-paw, teams will be salivating at the chance to sign him ("Teams" probably means the Red Sox, Dodgers, Cubs, and Yankees). And just for good measure there is another guy out there who might get traded this hot stove season and make a bigger payday: Johan Santana of the Minnesota Twins.

The Twins are a small market team, and will probably move Santana before the start of next season to get the maximum value for him. That should set the bar quiet high. Greg Maddux, at 41, just inked a $10 million, one year deal to stay with the San Diego Padres. You do the math!

The Free Agent poll...updated with others who ain't free agents but you'd like anyway!

In a perfect world?

Don Shula stirred up a little controversy this past week with his comments, or non-comments, on the season the New England Patriots are putting together. Should the Patriots be burdened with an asterisk next to their name if they succeed in going 16-0?

First and foremost, I think the asterisk is one of the most misused symbols in the English language. A little history: the asterisk originates from feudal times where it was used as a symbol to indicate date of birth. It originally had six arms, like teardrops falling from the center (see the picture above). It can bring attention to a footnote and is also used in mathematics, human genetics, economics, and cricket. You know...things that really matter. However, now it is being thrown around like a Frisbee at Woodstock!

In 1961, when Roger Maris broke Babe Ruth's 60 home runs in a season record, he did it in a 162 games schedule while Ruth played a 154 game schedule. So Ford Frick, the baseball commissioner at the time, placed an asterisk in the record book. He wanted to have an explanation (or retelling) for the accomplishment that Maris had achieved. The stigma of the asterisk stayed with Maris for many years.

Today, the concept of a real or figurative asterisk denoting less-than-official records has become widely used in sports and other competitive endeavors. It became almost a sport to say the word when Barry Bonds hit 72, and after 756 it hit a fevered pitch. Marc Echo, who bought the ball for a large sum of money, had an on-line poll concerning what to do with the ball: send it into space, donate it to the Hall of Fame, or burn an asterisk into the ball. Sure, like the next guy, I'd love to see anything shot into space, but it is historical. He owns the ball so he can do what he wants with it. As for me, I think it's spineless to use Joe Q. Public to stand between you and Bonds at the next ESPY's when you're the guy who allowed a piece of history to wear the Scarlet letter.

Shula, on the other hand, is the coach of the only NFL team to go undefeated in a season: 16-0 in 1972. the player and coaches from that team get together to celebrate the last undefeated team's first loss every season. At tad pompous if you want my opinion. They only beat two teams with a winning record in a 16 game schedule. The Patriots will have to play 19 to go undefeated for a season. Do you think that an asterisk on the 16 game schedule would be fitting? Maybe it is more that the Pats are looking so good that we won't have to watch those guys pop open the Dom and toast to their record being intact.

Yes, the Patriots were caught doing what most, if not all, people do. Trying to get ahead by any means necessary. "If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'," is the phrase that became popular while sitting in the bullpen filling your fingernail to a sharp point. It's a pitcher's friend and allows one to score a ball easily in an attempt to get more bite on breaking pitches. I don't really care if the Patriots go 19-0, I would just like to not have to hear they may get the asterisk. If I were to get a 19-0 Patriots team, and a winless Dolphin team, in the 2007 season, it would be a perfect world.

Come One, Come All! The Bengals are in town!

This commentary on the carnival ride that is the Cincinnati Bengals has been brewing for some time. Their record now stands at 3-6, a disappointing start to say the least.

But if there is one thing the Bengals are good at it is playing themselves right out contention and then sailing to a .500 record. They tend to either start the season well and then tank, or tank from the get-go and then finish strong. Either situation leads to a scenario where hopes are high with "What-If's" at the end of the season and no significant changes are made.

Last season the Bengals started 3-0 and were 8-5 at one point before losing the final three games of the year to end at 8-8. In 2005, they were 11-3 before losing their final three games of the year, including the first-round playoff game in which Carson Palmer had his knee bent sideways. In 2004, they started 2-5 but rallied to go 6-3 the rest of the way to finish out 8-8. In 2003, Marvin Lewis' first year as head coach, they started 1-4 but righted the ship enough to go 7-4 in the remaining games to finish, you guessed it, 8-8. Let's not forget that Lewis took over a team that had finished 2-14 the year before.

Before this season started, I asked the question of local commentators here in Cincinnati why we should believe the Bengals team this year should be any different than the 8-8 team last year. Crickets...and, "Carson is healthy." The defense is, well, the same bad defense. The amazing thing to me is how close the Bengals are to being a 1-8, or even 0-9, team.

Game #1 against Baltimore saw the Ravens turn the ball over 6 freakin' times and the Bengals won by seven (final score 27-20). If not for a deflected, shoe-string interception on the goal line in the final minute of the game the Bengals may well have lost...with a turnover margin of +4. In the game yesterday, the Ravens again turned the ball over six times (proving there actually is a more inept 11 than the Bengals defense) which resulted in a team record seven field goals. In two games, Baltimore had 12 turnovers and the Bengals scored a grand total of 48 points including two, count them, two offensive touchdowns. Remind me again why Carson and Co. are considered a "prolific" offense.

The only other win the Bengals have is against the Jets (38-31) who, let's face it, are a bad football team. The Bengals haven't beaten a team with a winning record since week 10 of last season (New Orleans). If history holds true, Cincinnati should get 4 more wins (Arizona, St. Louis, San Francisco, and Miami) which would give them a 7-9 record. I say the Bengals will be 7-8 going into the final game of the year against a winless Miami Dolphins team...who will get their first win. Who-Dey!

See you on the A-train?

My sister found a small college in North Carolina that she loved from the first time she saw it. She went there, and I followed a few years later. I can remember sitting with my roommate in the Lutz-Yelton Convocation Center watching the Runnin' Bulldogs of Gardner-Webb College. I was a baseball player living in a dorm with mostly football players and a stones throw from the aforementioned center. So basketball was a must see, and we sat in the rafter seats. I'll admit it - we were lazy. No stairs!

As we sat watching the first game of my freshman year, I remember looking at the banners of retired jerseys. There were just a couple, but one jumped off the page, so to speak. #53 GILMORE was one of them. Artis Gilmore went to Gardner-Webb Junior College from 1967 to 1969 and from there he went to Jacksonville University. In 1970, he led the Dolphins to the NCAA Championship game. In 1971, he went as the first draft pick to the Kentucky Colonels of the ABA. In 1988 (my freshman fall semester), he returned to the Chicago Bulls playing with a young upstart named Micheal Jeffery Jordan. Needless to say it was a big thing for our small Division II school.

Fast forward to 2007 and the Gardner-Webb University Runnin' Bulldogs have gone to University of Kentucky and beat the number 22 ranked team in the land. The greatest thing in sporting history at Gardner-Webb. Nothing compares to this. Coming from a Junior College to a University in less than 35 years is pretty special. I got a call this morning from a buddy when he saw it on the headlines. Gardner-Webb upsets Kentucky! Wow, I never thought I would be able to say those words, and to a friend that is a Kentucky nut and booster!

Back to Gilmore. Why is he not in the Basketball Hall of Fame? From 1972 - 1976 he played in the defunct ABA. He was drafted by the Bulls in the dispersal draft where he played with various teams until retiring in 1989. Despite an ABA career in which he averaged 22.3 points and 17.1 rebounds per game and NBA career averages of 17.1 points and 10.1 rebounds per game, Gilmore has yet to be elected to the Hall of Fame. He is one of several former ABA MVP's who have not received the honor. In addition to being pro basketball's all-time most successful field goal percentage shooter, Gilmore ranks among the top 25 all-time point scorers, as well as in the top ten in rebounds, blocked shots, games and minutes played. No other players with comparable statistical accomplishments have been omitted from the Hall of Fame.

Gilmore is currently ineligible for Hall of Fame consideration until 2012. For the past three years he failed to receive a single vote of support from a panel of nine basketball experts (! or ??) serving on the North American screening committee. This committee is anonymous. I for one, as a Runnin' Bulldog, would like to see this changed. Hopefully this media blitz will bring a little attention to Artis and his dominance that gave him the nickname "A -Train".

See you in Madison Square Garden for the Coaches vs. Cancer 2K Tourney. The few Bulldogs that were in Kentucky for the game bought alot of tickets from the Wildcat faithful who had purchased them before the game tipped off. Here is a little tidbit for the office trivia: Artis Gilmore holds what NCAA record? His career average of 22.7 rebounds per game is still the highest in NCAA Division I history.

Who's on third?

I was looking in on the Hot Stove news which, for you casual fans, is the off season in baseball - The time when teams sit around the warm fire at the Winter Meetings and trade and/or sign free agents for the coming year. Each year all of baseball gathers together for something to do. Mainly talk baseball. It is almost heaven. Last year the Red Sox were by far the most active team and it made them the World Series Champions. This year the big fish is A-Rod. So if you look for news, you will get mostly A-Rod related stories. Who, where, how? All these questions will be addressed by someone in the media.

Some of our favorites are Hall of Famer, Peter Gammons, Jason Stark, Buster Olney, and "Little Timmy" Kurkjian. The Professor and I will be attending the Winter Baseball Meetings this December 2 - 6, so we will be in the thick of things...stay tuned.

The 2007-2008 Free Agents and Teams.

Once again I have used a source that I'm not thrilled with. Wikipedia is a good source but not all that reliable. It can be edited by Joe Public, so don't believe every thing you read on it. That said, for some things it is a great resource. This is a great page that you can link to in order to see what your team is doing the off season. I stumbled on to it, and I hope it helps you.

POLL QUESTION:

If your team had a chance to sign A-Rod would you?

Frankly, my dear?

It is marathon time around the country. I admit that I am far from an authority on the sport of running. However, this will be a shameless plug for a friend running her first race.

Scarlett is a wonderful young lady who is a fan of the site. I got wind of her running a marathon in the "Capital of the Confederacy". That would be Richmond Va. for those of you in "Beantown".
Boston, New York, and Chicago all have their marathons on television, and I hear it's a great spectator sport. I'd be sitting at the corner watering hole knocking back chilly pops at 8 a.m. just to be able to say I was there. This coming weekend, Scarlett will be running in the Organ Donation Marathon. A great cause...and do some one a favor - donate to your local charities.

As for myself, I would just like to offer a little piece of pep talk to Miss Scarlett:

1. Download the Batman Soundtrack into your iPod. Great score, starts slow, finishes strong.
2. Crowds are over-hyped. It's just you and the road.
3. Make sure you have good tread on your feet...you would hate to have flat tire (unless you have plenty of spares stored up).
4. Have a wonderful time.
   

And last but not least, an Irish prayer.

May the sun shine on your shoulders. May the ground rise to meet your feet. And may you be in Heaven, 30 minutes before the devil knows your dead.

Meanwhile I'll lift a glass of single malt in the morning and watch from the corner bar. Working on my spare tire!

Who's Crying Now?

It seems the people in the National Football League think that it was wrong that the New England Patriots played the full 60 minutes of Sunday's game against the Washington Redskins. John Clayton of ESPN told Mike & Mike in the Morning on ESPN Radio that people were livid that Bill Belichek didn't call off the dogs in scoring 52 points in their 52-7 win over Joe Gibbs' Washington Redskins.

Calling off the dogs in a sport is akin to taking you foot off the pedal in the car on the way to work in the morning. You can't get to work with the car idling! New England is now 8-0 going into a showdown game with the 7-0 Indianapolis Colts this week. Oh by the way, the Colts are the reigning Champions of the aforementioned NFL. Should the Patriots have pulled Tom Brady? Should they have run the ball between the tackles on every play, the defense thus knowing the play to stop them? Should the defense of New England laid down for the running back to get a first down, or even score? Should the National Football League have crying?

There is a saying as old as dirt. There is no crying in baseball. You get plunked by the pitcher - walk to first and don't rub it. So I retort with this: In the World Series of a week ago, when the Boston Red Sox were laying the wood to the Colorado Rockies 8-0 in the 6th inning, should they have taken Manny, Big Papi or Series MVP Lowell out of the line-up? Maybe they could have sent Eric Gagne out to the mound with a gas can and a few Blue Tips. He could have given up the long ball to 4 or 5 guys, just to make it fair.

Instead of calling off the dogs, they played 9 innings, taking into account the Rockies winning 21 of 22 to end the season and sweeping themselves into the World Series where they waited 9 days to play the Boston Red Sox. Ask them if they wanted the lay off. Granted, they won't apoligize for winning early, but they had some rust.

The Patriots play the defending champs this weekend. Do you think they want to take their foot off the gas before they get to the final horn of the Super Bowl, much less against the Redskins?

Bizarro World?

For those of you who don't understand what the "Bizarro World" is, let me explain it quickly. In the Superman Comic Series by DC Comics, there is an alternate and opposite world. Superman has an evil opposite of himself, and hello is goodbye. If I go any further, one may draw the conclusion that I'm a nerd. Far from it, just know it from Seinfeld.

Anyhoo. I was running through the news of the day and found a Bizarro World right here on earth.

The Christian Science Monitor had an article that answered a question many people have asked me in the past. What happens to the merchandise of the losing teams in sports? You know the ones claiming the guys that lost really won. You won't walk around in the United States and see a guy sitting on a park bench wearing a 2007 AL Champion Cleveland Indians t-shirt. The shirts were made because they were a game away from winning. So where do they go?

Africa my friend. They send them to the poor and needy in third world countries. I was in Chicago at the Museum of Natural History looking at a picture of an African child in a Batman shirt. At first I dismissed it as pop culture all around the world. After finding this, I realize my attitude was closed minded. That child had a smile while living in poverty. He could care less what was on his shirt. Maybe he was just happy to have a shirt, even if he might not know from where his next meal was coming.

Those shirts and merchandise go to help people. I know that they could care less who wins, but if you were to go to that place one might think the Chicago Bears won the Superbowl last year. I'm happy to see that the clothes are put to good use, and it is a great help to those who need it instead of ending up in an incinerator somewhere here in States. MLB started this year by signing on with other sports leagues to help.

Even if your a fan of no one in the series, at least hope that it goes seven games. It will benefit someone...and it will be one less day until Spring Training '08.

6 Pack?

Whitey says:
Rockies in 6!

Say What?

With the World Series upon us and the NFL in full-swing, Whitey and I feel the need, nay the duty, to alert all of our faithful readers to many of the inane comments consistently issued by purportedly intelligent commentators. These guys (and sometimes gals) get paid to spout some the most banal drivel this side of your local news.

Watch any of the side show NFL games and you'll know what we're talking about (Craig Bolerjack anyone?). Whitey loves Tim McCarver. I think Dick Enberg should be banned from announcing any event not involving ice skates, strawberries and cream, or azaleas ("Oh My!").

Here are some of our favorites (?) :

1. "At the end of the day..." The classic. Uttered by coaches and commentators alike. At the end of the day it's amazing you still have a job.
2. "That's a great football play," or "...wonderful golf shot." Hey moron, I know what sport I'm watching. I would be surprised if Tiger Woods hit a stunning half-court volley. This is one of John Madden's favorites ala, "He's a great football player." Incredible insight. Along these same lines is, "He's a gamer."
   
3. "Crafty Lefthander." During the World Series game tonight, start your stopwatch and see how long it takes for Tim McCarver to call Jeff Francis a "Crafty Lefthander." Or how long it takes for them to mention the Yankees. It's a toss up.
4. "Scrappy" or "Never-say-die attitude." The Rockies will get this one thrown at them early and often, especially if they are losing 10-0 in the third.
   
5. "Catching lightning in a bottle..." Again, this will said by someone within the first ten minutes of tonight's World Series game. Guaranteed.
6. "If the season ended today..." Well, it doesn't, so we don't care.
7. "Chop wood" or "Blue Collar" or "Lunch-Pail guys" or "Grinders" or "Insert your favorite workingman's phrase here." These guys just go to work, albeit for slightly more money than your local Ford assembly line employee. I don't know how they do it...
8. "Whoever wins the turnover battle..." Rinse. Repeat next week.
9. "They have to play as if they have nothing to lose." Really? This is the "What Me Worry?" line which comes flying out every time a team appears woefully over-matched. Most teams do have something to lose...like the game.
10. Anything said by Skip Bayless. If you see Skip, change the channel. Now.

Remember, the mute button is your friend. And be on the lookout tonight for two guys: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. You might see them.

Classless?

My first major League experience was at Yankee Stadium. My father and I went to a game against the White Sox. I was never a AL fan and never will be. I think the DH is an abomination. However the mystique of Yankee Stadium is haunting. All the great players that have placed that franchise on so many banners, past and present, is mind blowing. My take from the experience was that Yankee fans were rude and the owner was a tad cranky at the time, the early 80's.

Forward to the years that Rudy ran crime from the streets and the Yankees started their run to a few rings. Seinfeld placed Costanza in the front office of the Yankees and Buck Showalter lost his job. Along comes one of the classiest cats in baseball, Joe Torre. Along with Rivera, Posada, the sprinkling of Sheffield, Lofton, Aaron Bleepin' Boone and the maturation of Derek Jeter, the Yankees as an organization became somewhat palatable.

All that went out the window last Thursday. Offering a guy that has been second only to Bobby Cox in post season births being a 40% pay cut and an incentive laden contract is classless. There were no negotiations, showing as much disrespect as would canning the guy in Spring Training. To offer a manager a lame duck contract is as classy as booing A-Rod after a MVP season.

Yes Yankee fans, you will now feel like the Storm Troopers on the Death Star. Bend over and kiss your tokus good-bye. There will be chaos in the Bronx. Big Stein is back making decisions for the sake of being relevant. Brian Cashman, the Senior VP and GM of the Yankees, has got to feel kicked around like a hacky sack at a Lalapalooza tour stop. Cashman got to be the guy who offered that joke to Torre. And that is what it is, a joke!

Torre won 4 World Series Titles, 12 Divisions Titles, and was the AL Manager of the Year twice. Bobby Cox hasn't won the titles that Torre has, but has a longer Post Season streak and a job. Bobby doesn't have a carrot at the end of a stick contract and Torre's next one won't either. If I were the Yankees, I would have at least locked the guy up in the organization, but they can't think that far ahead. They will think twice when Torre shows up across town in Shea Stadium taking the Subway Series, or in Boston at which time the Death Star implodes in on itself.

The Atlanta Braves have stuck with Bobby Cox as he has caught and surpassed the record for being ejected from games by a manager and only won one World Series. He is their guy, and has continued to be for 16 years. Atlanta had made a run into the post season for 14 straight years before the resurgence of the New York Mets. Cox didn't make it to the playoffs for a couple of seasons, but he still has a contract and is not looking over his shoulder.

The over inflated expectations of the Boss has sent one of the best managers into the booth. If you can't remember how bad it was in the late 70's, and 80's, just wait Yankee fans. History repeats itself. You can put them in a new stadium, but you can't make them have class. As long as the business people are running the baseball operations, Cashman may want to keep his head on a swivel.

All is calm in Hotlanta; and bedlam in the Bronx.

By the way...go ahead and look at the number #15 team in the country!

1. Rushing Defense #13
2. Scoring Offense #7
3. Scoring Defense #5
4. Net Punting #2
5. Turnover Margin #1
6. Interceptions #1

The Keg of Nails comes home this weekend!

GO BEARCATS!

Take Two!

Much has been made (or missed, ha!) of the "Timeout right before the kicker attempts a critical field goal" scenario in the NFL. The tactic has seen success and failure so far - the Broncos made the Raiders do-over and Janikowski missed. The Raiders took the hint and used a time out against the Browns the following week to force a second kick, which they blocked. On Monday night the Bills made Cowboys kicker Nick Folk do it twice...and he made it twice.

Initially I considered myself a member of the change-this-scenario crowd. I found it a bit over the top - an annoying and sleazy tactic. But The Professor has had a change of heart. I heard an interview with Dolphins kicker Jay Feeley last night on Fox Game Time Live with Andrew Siciliano which provided a new slant to the idea.

Feeley said that providing the kicker two chances to make one kick is akin to allowing a golfer two attempts at a putt. In an extremely scientific experiment conducted by myself and a friend over many rounds of golf this summer, I can attest that the second putt is almost always more accurate than the first.

Feeley claims the same thing is true with kicking. While a couple of times the scenario has not played out exactly this way, he claims that if you a give a kicker two chances to make the same field goal more often than not he can nail the second one. Taking into account the wind, the trajectory, the distance, blah blah blah...the kicker can fine-tune his kick based on the results of the first one. These being professional kickers, giving them basically a practice kick is not a good idea (in the long run) according to Feeley.

His argument is a compelling one, seeing as he's a kicker and should know a bit about these things. I also find such arguments as "They should change the rule" a bit misleading. There isn't a specific rule that allows coaches to do this sort of thing. In fact, one would have to significantly alter the current rules to allow for a "No-Time-Out-Right-Before-The-Kick" situation. On any play the coach (or a player) is allowed to call a time out right up to the snap of the ball. In an article today Michael Smith argues for a change that would state "... any time a team lines up in a field goal formation, the opposing team may not call timeout after the play clock reaches 10 seconds."

I must point out the insanity behind this idea. Let's say a team lines up for a field goal and with nine seconds left on the play clock flips into a different formation, ala a fake field goal or a blatant non-field goal formation. Is it ok to call a time out now? What if a team lines up in field goal formation and then has the QB, who may be positioned to hold the ball for the kick, stand up with 11 seconds left and position himself for a shotgun snap? The rule would have to have addenda such as "The opposing may team may not call a time with ten seconds or less on the play clock unless the formation changes to a certain extent as to significantly alter the purpose of the play or complete mayhem ensues and we have no idea what is going on and therefore all bets are off and a naked man runs across the field."

Leave the rule the same. The fans know the second one is gonna count (as you cannot call time outs on consecutive plays with no play having been run) and the thrill will still be there. Heck, maybe the kicker will ask his own coach to call a time out so he gets one free practice shot. Well, maybe not.

It's A Mistake?

Instant Replay in baseball. Sounds simple. It's not. In the one hundred and sixty third game of a one hundred sixty two game schedule, the play-in game was decided on a play at the plate. From the time I woke up at 0530 this morning until I sat down to opine on the controversy, I had seen the replay some 100 times, from a variety of angles.

The basic mantra being bantered about is that the runner missed home plate. I saw the hands of the home plate umpire signal safe. That is where it ends for me.

All the pundits crying that they deserve the right call need to just shut up. Baseball has been played - and judged - by the human eye since it's inception.

The argument that seems most prevalent is for Instant Replay. It's technology. It's state of the art. Hey steroids are technology, but they're taboo.

There are 32 teams, multiplied by 162 games, multiplied by 54 outs a game. Added to that the 350+ balls and strikes. No one is perfect and things happen. It all evens out in the end.

Today in the Padres clubhouse I'm sure the guys that are packing up are bent over the call, but not more than the loss of a 2 run lead. In the 13th inning, by a Hall of Fame lock closer no less.
The only guys that it should make a difference to is them and they don't want it. At this level of play these guys have had calls go both for and against them.

If your check doesn't say San Diego Padres, it's not yours, so Shut up!

Ironic?

I guess you might say that Michael Vick is one of the people that you thought you would tell your grandchildren about when you were old and gray. Well now he has cemented his place in Hall of Shame. I can't think of a quicker fall from grace. Rose, Tyson, Rocker, just pick your best argument for an illustration. This is; dare I say, epic.
Michael Vick was the quarterback that broke the mold, coming off his performance in the National Championship game against the Seminoles of Florida State in 2000. From all accounts that I have read, and heard, the guy was a caring, giving person. He has done a lot of good with the money he got from playing in the NFL. Dan Reeves, Frank Beamer, and countless others have been interviewed by multiple media outlets. I haven't found a damning statement from anyone that had a relationship with Vick. That said; I'm sure there is some guy that will try and get his 15 minutes of fame from this horrific event. So shame on him too.
Vick has let everyone down. I know that there are people in the Falcons fan base that will say he was framed, but there is an idiot born each minute, so go figure. It is inexcusable. To pit anything against another for getting your jollies, is just sick. People are all bent out of shape because it was dogs, and I get that. They are defenseless creatures, unless trained to do harm.
Mr. Vick probably deserves more than he will get; however what I'm having a problem wrapping my head around is, Where did all this morality come from?
We have had stars, or better yet, just people in your own neighborhood that beat their wives. People are getting shot in the street for no reason whatsoever. Children are being abused by adults, just to be let out on the streets again to repeat the offense. Where are the picket line at those trials?
I'm not happy to say this, not in any way. If you thought it was going to be hard to explain to your grandson that Barry allegedly used steroids to achieve his Home Run record, try putting a good face on for the kid when he finds out the guy playing killed "Fluffy".
Vick will probably get a year, and a half in the clink to think about his transgressions, and be glorified in the Big House, by his fellow perps. The NFL will ban him for a year, thus allowing him to return around 2010. Probably not as a quarterback, but with his athleticism someone will find him a place.
After Monday's plea, he will start a PR campaign the likes even Washington D.C. has never seen. For some reason it makes me wonder if he fooled so many people all this time, can you ever really trust the guy? I'm starting to believe Vick's reputation will be ironically like that of the pit bulls he bred. STOP! Audience Participation Time! Please reread the last sentence, and when you get to pit bull, insert your minds eye here.
Unfortunately, his dogs will be put down because they could never be pets, they won't get a second chance. Mr. Vick will. Then we will see if you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Point?

Well another Major on the PGA Tour has come to its logical conclusion, with the guy in red holding the trophy. After Woods dropped that 63 on Friday, there was really no reason to watch. Everybody in the tournament went to bed that night playing for second. That said, I watched the back 9 after a great brunch: Eggs Benedict, Key Lime pie, and Glenlivet neat. Anyway, to the point.

I watched Tiger methodically play the course in his "Sunday Red". He played the last 3 holes knowing he had the tourney in the bag. After a 3 putt bogey at the 14th, Woods sunk a birdie putt on the 15th hole. As he watched the ball drop in, he pointed right at the hole. That was the moment. You usually see that fist pump he is well known for, or some other gesture that causes the crowd to go wild and his playing partner melt. This time that guy was Stephen Ames, who shot a 6 over 76. He started the day in second, and ended up tied for 12th. Tiger's point was basically saying, "That's the shot that put it away."

As a side note, I would add that it was good to see his wife and newborn also wearing "red" to celebrate the win. If you had a chance to see how fast he dropped that ball into his pocket, you know he is keeping that one for his mantle. Special day, special guy.

That's not a Real Name!

In my never-ending quest to write articles no one cares about, I give you this one on team names. I have thought about this on and off, usually when I see the Devil Rays, Jaguars, or Timberwolves mentioned. I dug out this article from 2001 which quickly states the categories:

In the not-too-distant past -- think post-Chicago Staleys, pre-Chicago Fire -- professional team names tended to emerge from five generally accepted categories: uniform colors (White Sox, Red Sox, Reds, Browns); local industry, geography and lore (Packers, Astros, Lakers, Trailblazers); American Indians (Chiefs, Redskins, Blackhawks, Braves); nautical aggressors (Pirates, Buccaneers, Raiders, Vikings); and animals (Broncos, Rams, Colts, Bucks). [SOURCE]

Other than the fact that the Cleveland Browns were not named after their uniform color but the head coach at the time (Paul Brown, against his initial wishes, and who is pictured above rooting through potential Bengals helmets in the late 60's), this states the situation fairly clearly. For the sake of sanity, I am not considering college teams or any sport outside the Big 4 (well, three and a half). The tops in my book:

1. New York Yankees. Classic, and invokes an automatic, knee-jerk emotional reaction like "F*&! the Yankees" or "Hell yeah!" Involves an aspect I feel one needs in a the classic name - you can't envision it in another town, say, the Las Vegas Yankees . Say what? (Although there are exceptions to this below.)
2. Boston Celtics. Another classic. Like the Yankees, the Celtics' history helps them. One thinks half the town hails from Northern Great Britain even though this ain't exactly the case.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers. I think Pittsburgh would be a shell of a town (more than it already is) without the Steelers. Good name, localized, and unmovable. Although their recent addition of new mascot, Steely McBeam, is almost enough reason to drop them off this list entirely.
4. Dallas Cowboys. May deserve higher ranking on this list, but while the Cowboys do get an emotional reaction not unlike the Yankees, they lack a certain umph for me which I can't really explain. God help you if you meet a Cowboys/Yankees fan though.
5. Toronto Maple Leafs. It may be hockey, but it's a good name. Proceed with caution when naming yourself after a foliage however.
   
6. Chicago Cubs. Not localized, but definitely unmovable. The Cubs are classic for their ineptitude, and thus their fans carry that stigma as well. Should they actually make it to the World Series one day some of the mystique will surely vanish.
7. Green Bay Packers. Even worse than the Steelers, should the Packers wither and die they would most definitely take the city with them. Localized, classic, unmovable, and certainly the reason 90% of the town still lives there.
8. Tie: Philadelphia 76er's and San Francisco 49er's. Both great names which can't really be applied anywhere but where they are.
9. New Orleans Saints. Completely embodies the town for some reason. You might move this name, but it would never be the same.
   
10. Houston Astros. Great name, although I wish they had kept those uniforms which made us adjust the tint on the TV.

Honorable Mention:

• Boston Red Sox
• New England Patriots
• Milwaukee Brewers
• San Diego Padres
• Detroit Pistons
• Cleveland Browns (only team named after an actual person)
• Hartford Whalers, wait...nevermind.
  

These teams are not in because they moved the unmovable name (and other reasons):

1. Los Angeles Dodgers. One dodges trolley cars in Brooklyn, not paparazzi in Santa Monica.
   
2. Los Angeles Lakers. Hey LA, pick your own name why don't you? Of all the teams in LA only the Kings (ZZzzz...) came up with their own name. I think.
3. Utah Jazz. You've got to be kidding me.
4. Indianapolis Colts. Just because you did this foolhardy thing in the middle of the night does not mean we didn't notice.
   

Names we want back:

1. Washington Bullets
2. Houston Colt .45's
3. Cincinnati Clowns
   

And now, for some of the worst:

1. Minnesota Timberwolves
2. Arizona Diamondbacks
3. Tampa Bay Devil Rays
4. Jacksonville Jaguars
5. Carolina Panthers
6. Golden State Warriors
7. Indiana Pacers
8. Anaheim Mighty Ducks
9. Memphis Grizzlies
10. Tennessee Titans
    

Now it's your turn...the Polls for Best & Worst Team Name:

Image Conscious?

Imagine Nolan Ryan standing on the mound in the bottom of the 9th, no hitter, two outs, and no runners on base. The manager walks out, puts his hand out asking for the ball, as he says, "You've reached your pitch limit." Twelve-year-old Daniel Inmacolato had this happen to him in a summer baseball camp.

This is the first year that the 85 pitch count will be in effect at the Little League World Series. In the past a child could throw six innings - the equivalent of a complete game. This year pitchers will be limited to 85 pitches per outing. Pitchers who throw more than 20 pitches in a game may not pitch in consecutive games. A pitcher who throws 46 or more pitches in a game must rest at least two days before pitching again. Gone are the days when a team with two good pitchers could get through a series. This new rule may lead to a dilution of the pitching quality in Little League.

Each year kids get better at putting the bat on the ball. This means every foul ball counts in your pitch count. If you run a few counts 3-2, you're gone in the fifth. So who pitches the 6th? The bullpen. With the volatility that is the "Bullpen" even at the Major League level, we are a short hop from set up guys and closers for the Little League managers to worry about. Some say it will develop more talent, but look at the expansion of the MLB and the way it diluted the pitching in the majors.

They are youngsters, so I understand the facts of arm fatigue, and injury. When I played you threw until you couldn't get guys out, and in more than one league at a time. I felt for Daniel as I read the account of him kicking the dirt, wanting the no hitter. That changed when I got to the end of the article and I read, "I like playing in the field, because if the other team makes runs, it's not my fault.'' I know he is young, but finger pointing is not good baseball. What in his playing career has made him think it is the pitcher's fault for runs to score? Or that it is not the shortstop's fault that runs score.

Someone needs to tell the kids that it is not if you win or lose, but how you play the game. With an attitude like that I'm wondering if the coaches are sending the right message, or if it is just a sign of the times.

Chew on this Lassie!

I heard about this last week but it slipped my mind until I ran into it today...for the dog that has everything:

The Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy

For only $10.99 (plus S&H) your dog can gnaw on Mr. Vick's rubber cranium. Some of the proceeds supposedly go to raising awareness for animal abuse, however, I would not be surprised if that awareness begins and ends with a bumper sticker on the owner of this website's new Mercedes. And remember:

Disclaimer: Vick's Chew Toy is a fictional character. It's use is not intended to harm anyone living or dead. It is a novelty character and a pet chew toy. Vick's Chew Toy is being used to bring awareness to animal abuse. Any similarities to The National Football League MVP and All Star Michael Vick are false. The image of Vick's chew toy used on our website is not an exact representation of Vick's Chew Toy, however, satisfaction is guaranteed.

Satisfaction is guaranteed! And that is not Michael Vick. My bad.

Oh, by the way...

Barry Bonds hit home run #756 last night, giving him sole possession of number two on the all-time list comfortably behind Sadaharu Oh who checks in with 868.
"Oh's record doesn't count," you say?
"He played in Japan," you mention?
"The Yomiuri Giants don't play in the National League," you point out.
Whatever, I say. Check out these facts:

1. Led the League (the "League" is プロ野球 or Puro Yakyū or Nippon Professional Baseball) in home runs fifteen times, including thirteen straight seasons.
   
2. Led the League in RBI's for thirteen seasons.
   
3. He was a five-time batting champion and won the Japanese Central League's (NPB is split into the Central and Pacific League's, like the National and American) batting triple crown twice.
   
4. While Oh was there, the Yomiuri Giants won eleven championships.
5. Oh was named the Central League's Most Valuable Player nine times and was an All-Star team eighteen times. [SOURCE] (I have seen various versions of these numbers, like he was an All-Star 20 times, but you get the idea.)
   

That's pretty good. "Yeah, but he played against inferior talent." I hear you. I just don't believe you. At last glance, Ichiro is pretty good. Daisuke Matsuzaka ain't a bad pitcher by any means. Hideki Okajima has an astronomical ERA of 1 this year. Are you trying to tell me that Dennis Springer, Rick Vanden Hurk, and Mike Bacsik make Barry Bonds' number more legitimate? Bonds hit HR's 71 and 72 off Chan Ho Park (admittedly, South Korean) in 2001. And who's to say that Babe Ruth would have hit 714 HR if MLB had been integrated? Is his record diminished because a fairly decent sized contingent of good to great baseball players wasn't allowed to suit up and play on the same field?

If the recent influx of international talent has shown us anything, it is that the United States does not have a demonstrable edge in baseball talent over the rest of the world. Give Oh his due. A good case for Oh is HERE, with links to further statistical analysis as well.

Not only should he be in the Hall of Fame, we should recognize his home run total as well. At the very least it gives the players yet another number to shoot for - and as a baseball fan I love those numbers to shoot for. It's funny how that works. I always thought Roger Maris' 61 in '61 was holy ground - a number that was much more fascinating on a pedestal way up there than as a number anyone should actually approach. Then lo' and behold it was surpassed six times in three years (1998-2001), three times by Sammy Sosa alone.

Put Oh in the Hall, tell Barry he has 112 to go, and give me call when A-Rod gets to 860.

300?

Mr. Bonds hit his 755th Home Run a couple nights ago, tying him with Hank Aaron for the all time lead. He will finish this season with around 770. That's what the mark will be for A-Rod, who became the youngest player to hit 500 homers. So you see, that number is attainable.

On the other hand, Tom Glavine got his 300th win the other night. This number may be farther away from being seen again than any other number in baseball. The closest people to it are Randy Johnson at 284, but he's going to try and comeback after his 2nd back surgery at 42 years old. Mike Mussina at 245 is a grinder and a Yankee, but what happens when his contract is up at the end of the season? Are you throwing 10 million at an aging guy again? With the current swirl around the YES network being up for sale, and the rumors of "The Boss'" health in decline, the Yankees could be also. David Wells has 235 wins, but he's a coronary waiting to happen. You can't carry that weight and get another 65. 225 sees Jamie Moyer who spends too much time on the DL. Curt Schilling is at 213, but he came up in 1986. Do the math. Pedro Martinez is in the 200 club by 6, and he has no chance of getting a sniff of 300.

Cal Ripken's 2,632 consecutive games, Rickey Henderson's 1,406 stolen bases, and Pete Rose's 4,256 hits are astronomical numbers. Even Barry's 73 homers in a season is mind blowing, but fresh in our collective memory. Baseball is a numbers game, and these numbers may be imaginable but only if you're a fan. 300 wins has been placed into a new group of numbers - the numbers that are set in stone as we watch these things happen. The one caveat to 300 wins is that most team's starters are only going 6 innings an outing and bullpens are the soft underbelly of the team. Long gone are the days of complete games and dominate closers going one inning.

Professor's Poll: Here's a list of some of the "unattainable" numbers in baseball. Feel free to add your own with the "Other" answer.

Griffey Deserves All-Time Best Billing

Here is a spattering of comments from The Sporting News.com forum, which I find typical, concerning Ken Griffey Jr. and the "What Could Have Been" scenario:

...Ken Griffey Jr. has the most beautiful swing in baseball. He has used it with tremendous power over the past decade and a half but he had a potential for much, much more. wvthundr

..Still one of the greatest outfielders though. Will unfortunately go down as one of the "how good would he have REALLY been" stories... hotlanta25

...If it weren't for Griffey's injury problems I could easily have seen him on pace to either break Aaron's record this year or next. It's a shame that he had to go through all the problems he has had because when he is healthy he is still as deadly as ever. tbeals7

It's sad to think about the talent being wasted by injuries with Junior Griffey... MFazio23

You get the idea, and I know you have heard it all before. I think this is the wrong way to evaluate Griffey. Unfortunately for him, he has had the bad luck to have his misfortunes at the end of his career instead of the beginning. I rarely hear anyone saying, "Well, Sandy Koufax would have been one of the best ever if it weren't for those first six years of his career." (In which he averaged six wins and a 4.04 ERA.)

Sure, Griffey might be pushing his way further up all-time lists if injuries had not come calling. But is anyone claiming Jim Brown is not one of the best, if not the best, football players ever because he only played nine years? Ken Griffey Jr. is one of the best baseball players ever. Period.

As a Reds fan I regret not getting Griffey's best years here in Cincinnati. That said, he had enough "best years" in Seattle (and has been nowhere near a "bad" player, when healthy, in Cincinnati) to easily be considered with Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, and Ted Williams on the short list of greatest outfielders of all-time. In fact, when the All-Century team was announced in 1999 Griffey was the only active position player who made the starting lineup. (Griffey finished 8th. Barry Bonds? 18th. And remember, Griffey is five years younger than Bonds.)

Has Griffey become a worse player since 1999? Much less so than Willie Mays was with the Mets. Stop the, "Well, he could have had 700 HR by now" talk. Ted Williams could have had some insane numbers had the Japanese not bombed Pearl Harbor. Babe Ruth might not have had the numbers he put up had baseball been integrated. (That topic is for another day...)

I understand discussions such as this - comparing eras, who's the best and who's a bum, etc. - are why sports talk radio exists and are near-and-dear topics of sports fans everywhere, including myself. The four letter network appears to revel in this inanery lately with their Who's Now and top 50 future football Hall of Famer shenanigans.

Stop evaluating Griffey on what coulda-shoulda-woulda been. At age 30 Ken Griffey Jr. was one of the greatest players of all-time. Today, at age 38, he is still one of the greatest players of all-time. And my oh my, what a swing....