For a "HUG?"

Rita Ragone, a former hair and make-up artist at the World Wide Leader in Sports (also known as ESPN), has filed a sexual harassment suit against ESPN, Woody Paige, and Jay Crawford.

Paige was a regular panelist on the now defunct "Cold Pizza," and now is seen on "1st & 10." Crawford, the former host of "Cold Pizza," is now the co-host of ESPN’s "First Take". Paige has returned to the Denver Post and continues to be a regular guest on "Around The Horn."

Ragone said that Paige pinched her, fondled her, and made vulgar remarks about her appearance. She alleges that Paige once grabbed her backside so forcefully that "she was propelled forward, and into the air." Paige sent an e-mail to the Associated Press stating this was untrue and had no further comment. Crawford’s actions were noted as crude sexual comments, which he denies. ESPN’s people say the claim is untrue. Hey, everyone is saying this, even her former employer Atlantic Video, who she says asked her to drop the suit before letting her go.

This is not the first time Paige was sued for sexual harassment. In 1992, he allegedly used an anatomy slur towards a woman after an argument in his office. The Denver Post settled the suit, and Paige is back there again.

My only question is: Why are they still employed?

When a Production Assistant from ESPN said she felt weird after a hug from Harold Reynolds outside an Outback Steak House, he was thrown out on the street. There has been no suit against HR. Reynolds is actually suing ESPN for breach of contract and seeking damages. He currently is working for MLB.com, so check him out. The PA who felt weird has not spoken out to the best of my knowledge. Reynolds, who also reportedly had a heated disagreement with the production staff of Baseball Tonight over the coverage of Alex Rodriguez last season during a Texas v. New York series, was dismissed without a reason. Or at least a reason this hound can't find.

For a "HUG", he was dropped from Baseball Tonight and his color analyst role for the College World Series and the Little League World Series. With no lawsuit, Reynolds has been banished from ESPN. Paige, with a suit, is still playing the ‘holier than thou’ part as a panelist on "Around The Horn." ESPN has had no official statement on Reynolds’ firing; and his grievance won’t be heard until late 2008.

It breaks this baseball fan’s heart to lose HR, but if Woody gets the door you won’t hear a tear drop. Stay tuned for more of this. Please visit Free Harold Reynolds.Com and leave a note of support for the guy who does not have a sexual harassment suit against him.

Hurry!

While conducting my research for future Presidential Previews it has come to my attention that the end of the quarter is tonight. YOU HAVE TO DONATE NOW claim no less than two dozen of the sites I have seen. Bill Richardson appears to have raised 500K in about three hours. Nice.

So get on it kids, the future president needs your cash much more than you do. And remember what Bill says:

The only real reason to get involved in a campaign for President is that you believe a candidate will be the best president. Based on her experience, her commitment, her passion, her persistence, and her record,I know Hillary will be the best president.I hope you'll support her campaign" Bill Clinton

Yeah, I wouldn't vote for my own wife either if she wasn't qualified. "Hey honey, you know, I kinda like that Obama guy more than you..."

The Professor Strikes Back!

Another blatant attempt to besmirch the good name of Professors. It is a well known fact that Professor Plum "did it" 42% more often than anyone else in the game!

It appears the walls are closing in on my kind.

John Collins, a University of New Hampshire Professor (and department chair!), was coerced into surrendering to campus police this past week. Collins "was charged with disorderly conduct and stalking for comments he allegedly made against - but not directly to - a colleague." [SOURCE]

Outrageous! Stacie Sower (a lowly Associate Dean) asked for, and got, a restraining order against the good Professor Collins. Peeved about a parking ticket he received - obviously someone else's fault - Collins accurately focused his rage on Sower although she claimed, "I was not responsible for his ticket."

Likely story. Sowers' yarn claims Collins "ranted and "raved" against her, making expert use of "profane language" while he kicked a garbage can. She was not present for this, however two colleagues claimed he:

"...continued speaking badly of her in the elevator." She says the two colleagues told her that Collins said, "I am going to kill her" and repeated it "several times."

This is an obvious fabrication; everyone knows Professors take the stairs. She went on:

"John Collins is an extremely angry man [That's PROFESSOR John Collins]. I do not feel safe in my office or labs [on campus]. I do not feel safe for my students in their office or labs. I feel very threatened, and I am scared of what he could do to me or my students."

The article points out that Sowers also referenced "other incidents," but did not elaborate, then quotes her saying this:

"John has previously displayed extreme bouts of anger resulting in a broken Xerox and people feeling threatened - thrown chairs, books, etc."

That seems fairly elaborate to me. And slanderous. Books and chairs are just begging to be projectiles, and Xerox machines? Don't get me started. Toward the end of the article UNH Deputy Police Chief Paul Dean gives us some insight into the Professor's actions:

"One of the most difficult things we face down there is a sufficient amount of parking for everyone who wants to park," he said.

Well, that explains everything. Some of you may wonder why the Professor got a bit upset over a $50 parking ticket, choosing instead to pay $2500 in bail. I'm here to answer that query.

Like Dick Cheney mistaking his hunting buddy for a bird, these things happen. To hold Professors accountable for all their actions is patently preposterous. Our motives are simply beyond the comprehension of the plebeian masses. Sometime soon I assure you that my brethren and I will band together in order to combat this blatant prejudice against our kind. I will continue to monitor the situation and provide updates as warranted. The warning shot has been fired! Professors everywhere unite!

In the Red in Cincinnati

My first Cincinnati Reds post could not come at a better time. The Kansas City Royals finished up June with a winning record, their first in 22 months according Tim Kurkjian on ESPN's Baseball Tonight. That leaves my Reds and the Nationals as the teams with the longest streaks of ineptitude at six months.

Has it been that long? It seems like I was learning to ride a bike the last time the Reds were any good. They are currently 30-50 which nets them a .375 winning percentage, good for 30 points lower than any other team in the Major Leagues. It will be interesting to see if anyone on the team will finish with a higher batting average than the team's winning percentage. Not that anyone is threatening--NO ONE on the team is batting over .300.

It figures. The Bengals have made the playoffs recently and look to be decent for the foreseeable future. Passing them on the escalator are the Reds, who grabbed the Bengals' Worst Team Crown on their way down.

The Reds' record for losses in a season is 101 (1982). This team is on pace to smash that, and I believe they should do it with gusto. The Major League record is actually 134 set by the Cleveland Spiders in 1899. They can keep that. The commonly accepted "worst team" in memory would either be the 1962 Mets (120 losses) or the 2003 Tigers (119). For the Reds to pass the Mets they need to go 12-70 the rest of the way. Tough I know, but don't sell this team short. Or wait...

The Bald Eagle: Back from the Brink

The Department of the Interior, who is in charge of these things, removed the Bald Eagle from the list of threatened and endangered species yesterday. That's fantastic news, and for once I'm not being being sarcastic. I have always felt it was a bit ridiculous that one of our national symbols was close to being exterminated. If nothing else it shows that at least one of our conservation efforts in this country has actually worked.

That said, I hope the removal of the most prominent member on that list will not spell doom for other species. Bob Irvin, senior vice president for conservation programs with the nonprofit Defenders of Wildlife, is worried about a recent Supreme Court ruling which allows the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to

transfer permitting authority to state agencies without first considering the welfare of endangered species. The ruling specifically affects permits issued under the Clean Water Act. "The full effect of this decision remains to be seen, but we are very concerned," said Irvin of Defenders of Wildlife, the plaintiff in the Supreme Court case. The Clean Water Act does not require such consultations before the EPA can transfer authority. Irvin is concerned the Bush Administration will try to use the ruling to argue that other federal laws also trump the Endangered Species Act.

His concern is probably not completely unwarranted. While this ruling really has nothing to do with the bald eagle's status, I think the ability to lobby for endangered species takes a big hit when the poster child for the campaign has graduated off the list. We'll see, hopefully we're both wrong.

My incessant curiosity led me to look up what other animals are on the list. A few of the notables:

• Grizzly Bears
• Both the American Crocodile and Alligator
• 9 species of Bats
• California Condors, the largest land bird found in North America and the world's rarest bird of prey.
• Hawaii Creepers. Small birds. Cool Name.
• Jaguars
• 4 species of Foxes
• Kangaroo Rats (not Kangaroos)
• 10 species of Mice
• Florida Panthers
• Prairie Dogs
• Pumas, or Cougars and Mountain Lions
• 12 species of Salamanders
• 17 species of Salmon
• Sea Turtles
• Sea Lions
• Bighorn Sheep
• Manatees
• The Blue Whale, Humpback Whale, and Killer Whale

I could go on but you get the point. While the success with Bald Eagles is commendable, I hope we don't lose sight of the rest of the animal kingdom. I didn't even mention the Invertabrates and Plants. I'm not a huge conservationist or environmentalist, but wiping out animals and plants is something I think we should avoid when we can. Sure the earth will survive, but I'd rather we not accelerate our efforts to make it resemble the moon.

Like Nails on a Chalkboard?

I remember the catch phrase "Soccer Moms" from the 90's. This is where things went wrong. No, I’m not talking about politics, religion, economics, or society as a whole. I’m talking about Soccer. Soon there will be a new resident of this great land of ours. His name; Beckham...David Beckham. He is the Pelé of today. I figure from the saying "Bend it like Beckman," he is somewhat of a star. He is married to a former pop star, Posh Spice. The Spice Girls were awful, but I digress.

They will live together in a nice neighborhood, and that is fine with me. What he brings to this country is the sport that has flares flying at players and riots that spill into the street; where cops use tear gas and rubber bullets without effect. I said rubber bullets without effect. They have to cage the bench for the players safety, and usually there is a fence keeping the fans out! I know it sounds like hockey, but soccer fans caused a riot in Argentina that killed a innocent spectator.

Killed an innocent spectator. This is what you "soccer moms" want for your kids: To play a game that is as important to the fabric of American sports as paddle boat racing? Yes, there will be a little buzz from Mr. Beckman coming to play for the L.A. Galaxy of the MLS, but that’s a small group. Where I watched the last World Cup there was a lot of buzz. I was in a bar. That was really the only good thing about the last World Cup. They opened the bars early, or stayed open late, just to have 3 guys sit at the bar, get wasted, and watch. I was with the Professor so the open bar was a treat, not the soccer.

So let me get this straight. You want your kids to play a game that is inconsequential, violent to the point of death. A game which the majority of people who watch it are tanked out of their minds. How about this: Why not sign the kid up to play baseball, one of the safest sports in the country. Only 6.1 injuries per 1000 players. Oh, and by the way.....The National Past Time! Baseball was invented by us. It broke the "Color Barrier" when Jackie Robinson was playing along side guys like Pee-Wee Reese. If you don’t know who that is, it’s okay. He played a long time ago. The next time you're at a baseball game, look for a guy wearing 42. Won’t happen. It’s been retired from baseball.

Do you remember Pelé’s number, or if he had one? Do you know what number Beckham wears? Nope, didn’t think so. With all that you're still signing four year old kids up to run around a rectangle chasing a ball while no one wins because they don’t keep score. They don’t keep score because the chances the ball goes into the goal are as good as the chance I hit a 7 iron 160 yards six feet behind the flag and pull a string that backs it into the cup. Blindfolded!!!!!

Now there are the few nut job dads that go crazy and scream at everybody in earshot. He’s either mad at the coach because his son is not getting to play as much as he thinks he should (coaches like to win), or yelling at the umpire because he thinks it was a strike. That said, it is still a game. There is no excuse for the pot belled papa trying to live vicariously through his six year old son to ruin what could be a wonderful experience for family and friends.

Do your child a favor and sign him up for baseball. Not only will they have a good time, but they will learn success and failure the same way. The right way. There is no time clock, only outs. Three in an inning, and they start by playing 5 innings. Take some time, enjoy the green grass, blue skies, and Our National Past Time.

Cincinnati Cornhole Craziness

I've been waiting for this. The Wall Street Journal has an article today all about Cornhole, the game for those who think Horseshoes is too dangerous. If you don't know all the rules or, more likely, have never even heard of Cornhole, go check out the article in the WSJ. I'll wait.

They claim in the article that Cornhole is "particularly popular in Cincinnati, where folks say it originated more than 50 years ago..." Since I live in Cincinnati I can confirm that yes, the game is insanely popular here. It's the 50 years ago part that really puzzles me. That and why it's so damn popular.

I was born in Cincinnati over 30 years ago. In 1995 I moved to Virginia, where I lived before returning to the Queen City in 2004. As of 1995, I had never even heard of Cornhole. Popular lore claims the game originated on the West Side of town (I was an East-Sider), so it is possible the game existed here and I just didn't know about it. (For the best description of the East-West divide in Cincinnati, I give you Jim Borgman.)

Sometime between 1995 and 2004 Cornhole acquired an infectious popularity previously achieved only by Skyline Chili and cholera. In Virginia I had taken up Horseshoes, and upon being introduced to Cornhole I found it an emasculated version of the same activity, like playing darts with Post-it notes. It's as if one game was meant for adults and the other for those who can't be trusted with the scissors.

I like driving the stake in the ground and tossing objects originally intended to be nailed to the feet of four-legged animals. I enjoy the loud clank of a "Ringer!" I particularly like that if you just pound the stakes in your buddy's lawn, you can till the yard for him too. Some may say it's problematic to drive a stake through the asphalt while tailgating at a Bengals game, that Horseshoes tend to behave erratically when skipping across pavement. To them I say: Keep your beanbags, I like a challenge.

Another Gator Tri-fecta?

Once again the Florida Gators stand on the doorstep of history. Tomorrow the NBA Draft will take place. There has never been a draft that saw three teammates taken in the first ten picks. The 1976 Indiana Hoosiers had three in the first 11 picks. They won the NCAA Championship. North Carolina had four in the top 14 picks in 2005. Both of these schools are basketball powerhouses, coached by legends.

Greg Oden and Kevin Durant are locks for the first two picks. Unless the Portland Trailblazers pull another Sam Bowie out of the air. Boy was that a gaff, or what? For those of you who live under a rock, they passed on Mr. Michael Jeffery Jordan.

This year Al Horford could go as high as #3 to the Atlanta Hawks, and Corey Brewer could go to the Boston Celtics at #5. Both of these guys could be as big an impact as Oden or Durant. Joakim Noah will go not too far down after his teammates. That could make three of the first ten picks Gators. This would be more historical than their repeat in the NCAA Tournament.

Since 1957, when the modern draft began, Florida has only produced six first rounders: 1969's Neal Walk, 1990's Dwayne Schintzius, 1998's Jason Williams, 2000's Mike Miller, and Donnell Harvey, and David Lee in 2005. Your now saying who? There have been only 24 Gators drafted in the past 50 years.

Taurean Green’s workouts have possibly moved him into the first round. Chris Richards, and Lee Humphreys look to be in taken in the second round. They represent the starting 5th and the 6th man.

If you said this of Kentucky, or Indiana the fans would be jumping out of their skin. In Florida, its just another great day to be a FLORIDA GATOR!

The Professor's Presidential Preview: The Independents

Well, here we go. In response to overwhelming demand, I present to you the first installment of The Professor's Presidential Preview. We will begin with third party & independent candidates, as they are in desperate need of an introduction to the masses and, quite honestly, they are the most interesting.
This will not be a comprehensive list - all candidates had to have a website for me to evaluate them. If they have some sort of party affiliation I list it, otherwise they are Independent. CLICK ON THE PICTURES to check out their sites for yourself; if cheeky website analysis is really what you want, go HERE. At the bottom of each bio box, I've included some details about various patriotic images each candidate's website displays. O' say can you see!

Before we begin, I would like to thank the following sites and recommend you visit them yourself for more info:

Many of the candidates have items for sale, but I also found this site chalk full of stuff should you and your money not have a friendly relationship:


That's it. Republicans, Democrats, and more prominent Independent candidates will be discussed in later posts.

Without further ado,

Here They Are:

	Jack Grimes (United Fascist Union) In case you were wondering: "The main objectives of the United Fascist Union shall be: (a) To institute a military Dictatorship form of government over the Earth. " and, "(c) To corporatize utilities (making them agencies of the United Fascist Union)." (B) and (D) are nowhere near as good. By far the Best Costume. Also a candidate for Best Quote: "Vote Fascist 2008!!" I'll get right on that. American Flag Bald-Eagle Bonus: Statue of Liberty and a pentagram!
	Dr. Don J. Grundmann. (Independent) Don's got himself a "Matrix" theme working. He asks us to "Take the red pill!" He's the second Doctor I found (chiropractor and herbalist), Dr. Ruwart is below. Don does not like the IRS. Best Quote: "NO LAW REQUIRES YOU TO FILE AND PAY INCOME TAX FOR WORKING IN AMERICA." I advise you to send him the bill for your lawyers. Don says, "This site is not created to show me hugging a baby." He's not lying. Red pills as link buttons is as close as you get to patriotic.
	Ruth Bryant White (Independent) Appears to have many ideas on a broad range of topics. Whoever designed her website needs to be fired immediately (this is a common trend with all these candidates). "More Than a Woman" theme puts her in the running for Best Song and Best Motto. Unfortunately, the version of the song on her website will make your head explode. American Flag: It's a cheap waving flag icon, but we'll count it.
	kat swift (Green Party) No, that's not her in the picture (at least I don't think it is). She feels we should have the "option of voting for 'none of the above' in every election." I wholeheartedly agree. Had to put her on the list for this Best Quote: "my name is not capitalized - use all lower case letters!" Sure thing kat! Her patriotism shows in the picture; the only use of the American Flag as clothing.
	Joe Martyniuk (Independent) Boring. Horrible picture and website. If your issues are gasoline and terrorism, Joe may be your man. He's pushing bumper stickers, but they have nothing to do with him. Joe's site rivals a morgue in its creativity.
	Steve Kissing (Independent) One of the most interesting candidates. After reading dozens of these sites it was nice to see his, which is by far the Best Site. Best Quote nominee: "I've been to a few strip clubs." Steve is from Cincinnati, which makes him my front runner. Black melodrama masquerading as patriotic? No dice, Steve.
	Dr. Mary Ruwart (Libertarian) A doctor! Her position on anything? I have no idea. According to her website she has some ideas, but you have to buy the book to get in on the secret. Statue of Liberty: Cheap icon version.
	Robert Milnes (Libertarian) Bob's looking for a "viable" third choice for president. By viable he means "one that has a reasonable chance of winning." Don't look on this list Bob. He looks real excited about his chances. Go to his website and read his bio. I dare you. Look closely...a faded blue image of the White House in the banner. Yikes.
	Michael (Mic) Tienken (Independent) The Smartest Guy in the World. Well, according to him. A Best Motto candidate for "Pic Mic '08" but unfortunately this also nets him a Worst Nickname bid. Vote for him because his last name is not Bush or Clinton. Of course, neither is anyone else's on this list. American Flag: Done tongue in cheek.
	James McCall (Independent) James' entire front page is basically quotes from the Founding Fathers. Can't go wrong there. However, the best part is when he addresses "Youngsters," a Best Quote opportunity: "Do not be offended by the term 'Youngster'. I was once called 'Youngster' myself." Get out! A candidate for Worst Motto with "Call on McCall." American Flag An animated Bald Eagle, truly hideous. The Constitution
	Christine Smith (Libertarian) Not as boring as she initially appears. Wrote a book on John Denver's spirituality. Ok, never mind. Although, she would free all marijuana offenders and enjoys firing off her 40-caliber semi-auto. Up for Best Looking candidate. I'd vote for her. Christine found the Patriotic Template, no points for that.
	Frank McEnulty (Independent) Frank is really boring. His T-Shirts are even boring (but do cost $30). The picture pretty much tells the story: nice scenery. Up for Worst Motto: "Anything is Possible in America." Except you winning Frank. Bad Red,White,& Blue banner.
	Elaine Brown (Green Party) The Green Party is not the new Black Panther Party...at least not that I know of. I'm not sure what her views are on, say, campaign topics, but she wants Imam Jamil and Micheal 'Little B' Lewis released from prison. Lots of Black Panther references, which gives her an, uh, interesting angle. She gets a nod for Best Quote: "It is not anachronistic to believe today, as in the days of the Black Panther party, that black people in the United States are not free and must be free." I think she is a former Chairman of the Black Panther Party. At least that's what the link to her album seems to say. Good Black Panther picture on the cover her album Seize the Time. Too bad that doesn't count.
	Tom Wells (Family Values Party) He ran for the House at the "command" of God. I suppose he's running for President for the same reason. He's the founder of FVP, but the link on his site doesn't work. His website has been 'under construction' for over five years. Hopefully he can manage the United States more efficiently. A lot has happened in the world of website development in the past five years. You wouldn't know it here.
	Donald K. Allen ,with wife, Paula. (Independent) Actually sane. Has views on maybe the most topics of anyone in this list, including puppy mills (he's a veterinarian). If you like your candidates to have all their marbles, this might be your guy. He'd be our 9th president from Ohio. American Flag White House
	Kent Mesplay (Green Party) His bio states that Jared Diamond is a family friend (Kent was born in Papua New Guinea). Always good to name drop Kent. Has a Ph.D. in Biomedical Engineering from Northwestern University. Diagnosis? Not on your life. His website is a hideous blue/green nightmare. Nice windmills, he should check out Karl Krueger's site.
	David Masters (Independent) Dave has a Margaret Mead quote on his home page, so you know he's...well, I don't know what that means. He's looking for some unauthorized pictures of himself circulating on the web, so if you know of any be sure to let him know. He's a Best Quote nominee for this: "It is my belief that there are a lot of people out there that think like I do," which easily could have been attributed to 90% of the people on this list. You're amongst friends here Dave. The Presidential Seal: Superimposed on the back of what appears to be turtle. That's new.
	Claire Elisabeth Fields 'America, Peach' Cruise (Independent) Seems to have an unhealthy infatuation with Tom Cruise. Her occupation of "World Peace Leader" pays a measly $30k a year. Would be our first Buddhist president. Also our first stalker president. In the running for Worst Nickname(s) and Longest Friggin' Name. A camouflage background does not mean I can't see how bad your page is. Good try though.
	Jon Greenspon (Independent) Jon's all about telling us what he CANNOT and WILL NOT do. That's refreshing. I think. John has something that looks like a halfhearted attempt at an American Flag bumper sticker. Half a point.
	Alan Augustson (Green Party) He ran the Information Management Center for FEMA's Response and Recovery Division. During Hurricane Katrina. I'd lie on my resume Alan. He's got some Swag if you don't like money. Alan's Response: "I provided the analysis and recommendations [with FEMA]. I had no control over the actual decisions, which I generally opposed." Obviously Alan is quite persuasive. UPDATE: DROPPED OUT. Some sort of green leaf with dew. Don't ask me. UPDATE: Alan has changed his banner and added a discrete American Flag background.
	Daniel Imperato (Libertarian) Dan's got a lot of stuff to say, but none of it's as interesting as his pedigree. No other candidate has their freakin' Coat of Arms on their website (UPDATE: Not true! Check out Randy Crow). I'm not sure, maybe he's a Knight of Something. I am sure that Dan might possibly be running for office in the wrong century. Ah, some Stars & Stripes. Overall ho-hum.
	Gene Amondson, not the scarecrow or Bert. (Prohibition Party) I didn't even know there still was a Prohibition Party. Gene doesn't like drinking. He has one issue: no booze. If you don't like booze then guess what, Gene's your guy. Probably the Best Quote: "Drinking responsibly is like teaching a pig to eat with a spoon." Amen to that. For being an artist, Gene sure has a boring site. Have another.
	Don Cordell (Independent) Well, now. Don has many ideas, and by many I mean it would take a week to read his one page website. The most interesting tidbit I found: "What car do I drive now? A used 1996 Cadillac limo made in Texas..." He goes on to complain about the paint job. If you have a spare lifetime, read all about it. I think you can find the American Flag. All he needs is a pitchfork and Ma.
	Lanakila Washington (Humanistic Party) Ah, where to begin. Mr. Washington seems ok, but he named his website "A Tribute to"...himself. His My Space site claims he makes 250k+ a year, which may not be BS when one looks at his friends (Dr. Dre?). Lanakila is a name "bestowed" on him by Hawaiians. Of course, he's from New York. Go figure. I think he may be the only member of the Humanistic Party. Up for Best Song. Lots of American Flags. Small shot of the White House.
	Robert Winn (Independent) Ok, so I broke my own rule. Robert doesn't have a website. Or a picture. But check out this resume: Political Experience Candidate, U.S. President, 2000,2004 Prisoner, Maricopa County, AZ, 1992 Prisoner, V.A. Hospital , Psychiatric Ward, 1970 Now those are some real qualifications.
	Terry Lee 'Tee' Barkdull (Independent) Dull being the operative word. An "I love my country!" candidate. A decent quote: "The Elephant remembers what it suppose to do, but would rather fill it's pockets with our money instead and the Mule, is just to stubborn to do what's right for America." Ok. But this is the Best Quote bid: "Well, America had it's 'LITTLE' Mexican May day again.." Also a candidate for Worst Nickname: 'Tee'. Fore! A giant Bald Eagle. The Army & Navy Official Seals. I think Tee is a Vet.
	Mark Graham (Independent) Mark is fairly boring, but it looks like he has a clean kitchen. Mark has an American Flag/ United States icon which is amusing because it looks like New Mexico had Alaska for dinner last night.
	Arthur Regan (Independent) Arthur is the first person I've seen treat this like a job application; he offers to provide references. I think we'll take you up on that Art. Winner of the Say What? award: "For a Vote Unto Me is Truthfully You Voting Unto Yourself." Say what? Nice cape though. Bad American Flags all over. I see them in my sleep...
	Karen Kwiatkowski (Libertarian) Apparently someone else has thrown her hat in the ring, and she'll be the only one here where that is the case (that I know of). The website this links to is not her's. I had to put her in because she wins Worst Friggin' Name hands down.
	Jonathon Albert 'The Impaler' Sharkey (Independent) The Impaler made this entire chore worth the time. Check out this resume: Professional Experience: Commanding General, The 1st Vampyre, Witches, Pagans Party Regiment, 2006-present Political Experience: Founder/National Chairman, The Vampyres, Witches, Pagans Party, 2005-present Organizations: Dark Priest/Advisor, Church of the Followers of Lucifer, 2005-present Founder/National Chair, Vampyres, Witches, Pagans against Impaired Driving, 2005-present Public Policy Member, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, 2001-2004. Suffice it to say 'Ole John boy thinks he's a vampire. If you look closely, seems like John figured this out around 2005. He was merely your plain old run-of-the-mill Republican before then. His founding of Vampyres, Witches, & Pagans against Impaired Driving makes me want throw him on a ticket with Gene Amondson or Tom Wells (see above). Who boy! What fun that would be... Easily a candidate for many awards, including Best Costume, Best Nickname, and Best Quote: "THE AMERICAN VAMPYRE FROM JERSEY, IS OUT FOR BLOOD! THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES!!!" If you thought being a vampire didn't have its perks (other than giving your skin that healthy glow), check out his friends on his My Space website. While there you will get a treat: Best Song nominee "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. Seems fitting for The Impaler's campaign. One of the best American Flags.
	Bob Hargis (Independent) Bob seems somewhat intriguing. His wife (Rosemary) wrote his bio on the site. Check him out, possibly one of the few sane individuals you may find here. American Flag Founding Father Quote
	Charles Joseph Leo 'Taz, Possium' Symonds III (Independent) Yawn. Taz is here for the Worst Nickname. I'm sure he has other redeeming qualities, feel free to search them out on your own. I have no idea what 'Possium' is supposed to mean. He has a picture of some Patriotic Domed Interior, which is rather nice.
	Ben Thompson (Independent) The first line of Mr. Thompson's site: "The Ben Thompson for President campaign does not endorse the ads that appear at the top and bottom of our web pages." If they were wise, they wouldn't endorse what appears in the middle either. It's been a battle to get his picture here..hope it was worth it. American Flag Bald Eagle
	Orion Karl Daley (Balanced Party) If Karen Kwiatkowski decides not to run, Orion may be a shoo-in for Worst Friggin' Name. Who names their kids after constellations anymore? Aside from the name he seems like an Ok guy, except on the Project Vote site he claims to be a she. Some Campaign Swag on his website. Not good swag (a tote bag?), but swag nonetheless. A cheap American Flag banner. Bald Eagle The Scales of Justice!
	George Phillies (Libertarian) Another candidate for Worst Friggin' Name should KK not run. A baseball team? C'mon. Other than that he seems like a real nice guy, so obviously he's done for. He went to MIT for god's sake, he can't win. I heard him on a podcast debate the other night, and he sounded more intelligent than everyone else involved. But...he is also a walking cure for insomnia. Faded orange banners don't count.
	Lisa Weltman (Independent) Lisa "intends to run a serious 'run to win' campaign." Well, that's a relief, I was tired of everyone else and their loser mentality. Lisa's website requires a serious penchant for reading copious amounts of small print. Enjoy. Lisa has chosen a rather Chinese looking red, white, & yellow American Flag for a banner. 表決為我!
	Deshon 'Big D' Porter Sr. (Independent) Sigh. Deshon gives us a few options, including Worst Nickname and Worst Quote: "I like to sing act podcasting radio I am college student my goal is to be eather [sic] president or in congress." Please, please go to his site and listen to the man himself explain why he is running. I had to. He's a big Rutgers fan. Let's graduate from college first shall we Deshon? Giant Scarlet Knight banners? Nope.
	Bob Jackson (Libertarian) Possibly the only Eagle Scout on the list. He's got a lot of ideas, this being one of them: "There must be a realistic plan put into action that would replace fossil fuels as the primary future energy source. Bob is the only candidate with such a plan." Bob doesn't let us in on what exactly that plan is. Guess you have to vote for him to find out. The Interior of a Courtroom. What's that about Bob?
	Michael P. Jingozian (Independent) I think he's an Independent. His website touts something called "Reset America," which may or may not be a party, but certainly is up for Worst Motto. His website is not too bad, and even offers some HTML code so you can do the advertising for him. American Flag banner: Complete with some folks doing the wave. A first: The back of the Statue of Liberty.
	John Bowles (National Socialist Party) Many of you may recognize the National Socialist Party by another name: the Nazi Party. Bowles doesn't disappoint. Candidate for Worst Costume and Worst Quote: "Only members of the nation may be citizens of the state. Only those of pure White blood, whatever their creed, may be members of the nation...Accordingly, no Jew or homosexual may be a member of the nation." While we're at it, I'm declaring the winner of Overall Worst Candidate. Congratulations Johnny. Go HERE if you would like to see the flag. It isn't an American flag...
	Gary Rostad (Independent) Gary was kind enough to provide a picture, and one with Mount Rushmore at that. Gary has what seems to be a 1 point plan for Iraq: we leave 18 months after "the last suicide bomb, the last mass attack on people of any kind..." Why don't we just make 'em the 51st state? The only candidate who has answers the question, "What do I think of NASCAR?" Go to his site to find out! $$$: Gary asks for no more than $1 donations. You do the math. Statue of Liberty and some American Flags The only use of the signatures from the Declaration of Independence as a background.
	Steve Kubby (Libertarian) Steve, Steve, STEVE...tone down the colors on your website before I go blind. He looks like he's gonna try and sell us something doesn't he? In the running for Worst Motto with "Let Freedom Grow!" Eesh. The colors...they hurt.
	Earl Dodge (Prohibition Party) This just in: not only is there a Prohibition Party but they have split into two factions. Gene Amondson (above) represents one, while Earl here represents the other. He has the dubious distinction of culling the lowest number of votes (140) of any candidate with ballot access in the 2004 presidential election. Hopefully his campaign button business serves him better this time around. Drinks on him! Capitol Building: Where's Ted?
	Steve Adams (Independent) Steve's not very interesting, but since he graduated from the University of Cincinnati he gets in. Consider him for Best Quote: "The Presidency is no easy job and should not be entrusted to anyone who can write a nice web site." Hold on there Steve, that's just crazy talk. American Flag Bald Eagle Bonus: The Lincoln Memorial
	David Koch, and family. (Independent) Dave's the only candidate I know of who already has a running mate (Ken Goldstein). Good for them, they can both go down in flames. Seriously though, they seem like real nice people. Good luck with that. The Constitution American Flag A couple pictures of the White House, David's future residence.
	Phillip Morrow (Independent) Phillip is in line for Most Boring Candidate. He also has, if not a Best Quote, one of the Weirdest Quotes: "I believe that every American should listen to “The Americans” by Gordon Sinclair of Canadian Broadcasting." We'll get right on that, right after we "Vote Fascist in 2008!!" It seems there is a web template for Presidential hopefuls. Phillip found it. No points.
	Joseph 'Average Joe' Schriner (Independent) Joe's not extremely interesting, but then that's why his nickname is Average Joe. He's in that category, but check out his song which is a definite contender for Best Song.
	Richard H. Clark (Independent) No, he never hosted American Bandstand. Another run-of-the-mill candidate. Except for this Best Quote: "I will prosecute Mr. Bush and his administration for their crimes." Gerald Ford he's not. His website is a maze-have fun. American Flag Lettering The Presidential Seal: Presumptuous? I think not.
	Arnold Jones (American Party) Mr. Jones is endorsed by...himself. More of the same, except that his link "On the Issues" has absolutely nothing. I like! American Flag Bald Eagle: No, not him.
	Gail 'For Rail' Parker (Green Party) Gail likes rail. I don't know if she has stock in B&O or just likes trains. She's a proponent of what's called "light rail" in Virginia (and I suppose everywhere else). Having lived in Norfolk for 10 years, let me tell you the likelihood of light rail coming to town: 0. Up for Worst Nickname. I don't know, can you find the American Flag?
	Michael Moriarty (The Realists) He invented the party, along with his chances to win. Yep, he's an actor. A whole lot of Marx this and Communist that on his site. Feel free to read it all. I didn't. His link is just a post on some other site...what do you expect from someone who shares the same last name as Sherlock's nemesis?
	Jeff 'Petro' Petkevicius (Independent) Jeff hates expensive gas...and writing it seems, because his entire website is YouTube clips outside the Ten Commandments. I don't think he likes homosexuals either; "From NFL to Hell - Jesus set him free from Homosexuality" doesn't sound too neighborly. Up not only for Worst Name, but Worst Nickname too. Nice picture of The Thank You Fairy. Her name is Brooke by the way. And no, that doesn't count.
	Wayne Allen Root (Libertarian) Unlike Steve Kubby (above), Wayne really is trying to sell you something: his latest sports picks. If you think handicapping Alabama/Auburn games is good experience for leading the free world, Wayne is your man. Click on his site, which is cleverly named Millionaire Republican.com. David Masters (above) should look him up. Wins Best Initials in a landslide. A serious contender for Worst Motto: "Root for America!" He's also nominated for Best Quote: "Barry Goldwater is my hero and mentor." Parlay that! Ye 'Ole American Flag banner. Sigh.
	Charles Maxham (Independent) Nice Photoshop work Chuck. Seriously, he seems like a down to earth kind of guy...and a Best Quote nominee: "My goal is not to be a professional politician. I do not care if I am reelected." Well, that's good. American Flag Statue of Liberty Bald Eagle
	Ole' Savior (Independent) Not much info on Ole' Savior, but his name alone gets him the final spot on this list. I have seen him listed as a Democrat, but I don't believe it.
And there you are. Like I said, any comments or criticisms of my wonderful analysis are more than welcome. If someone knows a candidate who would like to be included on this list (at their own risk), shoot us an email HERE or just post a comment. In the sagacious words of my Mother: I don't care who you vote for, just vote. Up next: The Democrats!

The Future of the "Billy Goat"

The future I see for one of my friends--a die hard Cubs fan:

With the New York Yankees playing like they reside in Kansas City, it’s only a matter of time before they miss the playoffs. A-Rod opts out of his contract and signs on the dotted line with Sweet Lou in Chi-town. Give them a year or so and you’ll see that little spark plug Darwin Barney from OSU filling out the left side of the Chicago Cubs infield. This kid gunned down a runner at home the other night from well beyond the infield grass. He is fundamentally sound in the field. He exhibited a little power with a homerun in the final game of the College World Series. He’s just infectious in the dugout, and on the field. Some see a little Jeter, but I'll wait to see if that comes to fruition. The Cubs can only hope he is half as good. Just think: that skill, smile, and likability in the Windy City; there's a marketing firm salivating at this very moment. Maybe the ‘Curse of the Billy Goat’ will be put down by a former Beaver. Ironically, the Tar Heel mascot is a....................Billy Goat.

Dethrowned by Jaw

Well this is a first for me, but here goes. It seems that we could have a new champ come this 4th of July. No, it won’t be in NASCAR. Baseball has a long way until the World Series. Football isn’t starting for months, and the NBA is just getting to the trade deadline. No sports fans, it’s going to be at Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Last year, Mr. Kobayashi put down 53 & 3/4 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Upstart American, Joey Chestnut with 59 and a half took the record earlier this year. This year however, Kobayashi has "a jaw". That’s what I said, "a jaw"! It seems that the guy who weighs a buck twenty soaking wet has sprained his jaw while practicing. I can think of no better place than this to quote A.I. : "Practice...we’re talking about practice."

Now I know that there are some people that think this is somewhat funny, but this guy is the face of speed eating. He held the record for hot dogs and holds the record for Krystal burgers. His mug is on the window of most of the local Krystals. For those of you up north, Krystal is the southern version of White Castle .

Each 4th of July, hundreds of people gather at Nathan’s on Coney Island to watch these people shove hot dogs down their gullet. Kobayashi has won this contest for years, but this year the champ maybe hobbled by a jaw. I can’t figure out the fascination of this event, however if I find it you’ll be the first to know. So, do you think it's the jaw...or just being scared to take on the new guy? Whitey picks Chestnut by two bun lengths.

How'd they do that?

OSU lost 6 of 8 starters, including their closer of a year ago. They are the first team to win it all in Omaha with a losing conference record. They played their first game of the year in Hawaii on March 25, a week before the rest of the country started. They didn't get to play in Corvallis until mid May. Their coach was courted by some big schools, such as Notre Dame, but signed a new contract this year. They were one of the last teams selected to the Final 64 teams, basically on their Power Ranking due to early season road trips and that whole thing of being defending Champions. They did the small things, the fundamentals. They hit a few homers, but their small ball ability showed all through the regionals, Super Regionals, and the CWS. They were caught stealing on only 2 occasions in Omaha. They went 60 consecutive innings without trailing. And now, having gone 5-0 in Omaha, they hoist their second straight National Championship trophy.

Big Shiny Plates!

With Wimbledon upon us, it is time again to trot out our favorite "What's the Best Trophy?" poll. Last time the Lombardi Trophy narrowly beat out the Stanley Cup. As with all our polls, feel free to drop us a comment in case we forgot your favorite, especially with this one as we will be sure to add it next time. Whitey can't wait for college football season and our first annual Ridiculous Rivalry Trophy poll. Tea anyone?

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While we're at it:

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Ride, or Bus Ride?

There is a new tempest in the teapot of college baseball. One of the changes to scholarship disbursement has a few coaches bent. Both Coach Polk of the University of Mississippi and Coach Tanner of the University of South Carolina expressed their displeasure with the new NCAA rule being applied.

Baseball receives 11.7 scholarships, which in the past were given out to players as the coach saw fit. A player could receive as little as book money, or 4 percent of a scholarship, but not more than 74 percent. No baseball player can receive a "full ride". Only one player can receive the 74 percent, the second highest at 54 percent, with the remainder trickling down in smaller amounts. As of this coming season, the new rules will set that minimum at 33 percent meaning if you receive a dime, you get 33 percent. Coach Tanner describes the changes like this, "They're giving us chump change, and now they're telling us how to spend the chump change."

Coach Polk is at odds with this rule because it will not reach its intended measure--baseball player graduation rates. I'm all for the players getting their degrees, but juniors will now be encouraged to go pro when picked by a Major League team. It not only frees up a spot on the squad, but the money to boot. Seniors graduate, not juniors , so who is it helping?

I can't for the life of me see how the NCAA can justify this. If a player is picked out of high school by the Major Leagues and the coach of a university said, "Come play for my school, I'll give you a third of a ride," I'll bet he takes the 60K signing bonus and rides the bus to his rookie league game with a smile and a paycheck.

Professor's Note: This is the first of a series of articles in which Whitey will examine the new rule changes in college baseball for 2008. Check back often or subscribe below!

Whitey & The Professor

Home Run Hall of Famers?

With Sammy Sosa hitting his 600th HR this week and Frank Thomas closing in on 500, I thought it might be interesting to take a look at the current crop of Hall of Fame candidates with some of their stats. This will be a multi-part series--we'll start with the home runs guys since that's in the news now. Some of these players have retired, some haven't. Some have a chance, some...well, as Whitey would say, not so much. Like the baseball writers, you can vote for more than one (they can vote for ten). The (a) means still active. Feel free to post comments on anyone I missed or to discuss more stats than the limited one's displayed below.

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9th Inning Shower

Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox got sent to the showers earlier than the rest of his team last night, tying him for the Major League record (131) for ejections with John McGraw. One more and he'll be the best. No, he's not the 'kick the dirt' on the ump or the plate kind of guy. He's the sit in the dugout and 'bark at BLUE' type of manager. How do you think they came up with the phrase "Braves' Strike Zone" with Maddux, Smoltz, and Glavine?

Arguing balls and strikes is a no win proposition, and I've never seen an ump change his strike zone to appease the coach. If your pitcher continually hits his spots, the ump may give him something a tad off the paint, but not for the chirping from the dugout. With 15 division titles under his belt, you would have to think that chirping is better that lobbing the rosin bag. Maybe some of the other managers in baseball could take something from this. You have to protect your guys. If you don't stand up for them, they won't for you.

The Epitome of Stupidity

If you were wondering how far into absurdity the world of sports can actually fall, let me be the one that brings you a little dose of idiocy. As I settled into my hotel room, I unpacked my laptop and turned on the TV. It's a Saturday afternoon and I'm just flipping through the channels...waiting for the CWS to start. Ladies and gentlemen I tell you this is the most ridiculous thing I've seen.

NBC was showing something called the "World Series of Golf." I sat for a few minutes waiting to see a leader board, maybe a name I would recognize from the PGA Tour. Not so much. This activity, because it's not a sport, takes poker players to a golf course where they bet on each shot, hole, and putt. Yes, you heard me correctly.

We all go out with our buddies and drop a few ducks, or play for a cold beer at the turn. But going all in on a 6' putt is just wrong. The game, from what I gathered from the few minutes that I sat dumbfounded in front of the TV, starts on the tee box as if your on the "button" at the poker table. Each swing of the club, good or bad, is like getting another card. If you're in good shape, up the bet, and hope to win the hole and the pot.

I've started to look at this poker programing like infomercials. Always on when you actually have time to do something else. For instance, slamming your hand in the car door. To the guy that thought this thing up: Your ignorance is immeasurable!!!

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Hitless in Goochland

Goochland County, Virginia has become a new pitching stud farm. Case in point:

It was mid April when Ben Verlander of Goochland County High School pitched a 5 inning no-hitter in a JV baseball game against Amelia County High School. In the varsity game later that day, starting pitcher Kameron Wilds threw a No-No against the same school. A few days later, Brian Jordan got his No-No against Buckingham County High School on the bump for Goochland. Not to be outdone, Ben's older brother, Justin Verlander (a Goochland grad), had to one up his little brother and throw a No-No in the Bigs. I don't know what they've got in the water up in GOOCHLAND, but I'm sure there is somebody going to check these kids out. Or at least I hope so.

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Pac Man Fever!

I found this take on Mr. Pac-Man Jones amusing:

Maybe Pac-Man would care about the Titans if they redesigned the locker-rooms with a state of the art lighting and sound system, ten-dollar valet parking, velvet ropes, disco balls, lots-o-mirrors, crunk juice, three drink minimums, seedy drug dealing bathroom attendants, blue balled, pissed off bartenders and a posse of coked-up, strung-out, rode hard & hung-up wet, lap-dancing, junior college drop-outs. Just a thought.

Don't forget the pole. Check out the blog here. In case you are wondering (as I was) where exactly Adam Jones got the nickname Pac-Man look no further:

TSN: So, how did you get your nickname?

JONES: When I was a baby, I'd usually go to the bottle like a Pac-Man machine, so my mom called me that, and it stuck with me. [Excerpt from interview here.]

Ah, that makes sense.

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Too Much Hunt, Not Enough Man

I just saw this little tidbit in the news concerning the game Manhunt 2 and figured I'd weigh in on this one. The tidbit:

Video game publisher Take-Two Interactive Software said on Thursday it has suspended plans to sell "Manhunt 2" after the title was slapped with restrictive ratings for its extreme violence.

Well, now. Before we go further, let's check out the reaction.

British Board of Film Classification Director David Cooke said they didn't much care for the game due to

"its unremitting bleakness and callousness of tone in an overall game context which constantly encourages visceral killing with exceptionally little alleviation or distancing. There is sustained and cumulative casual sadism in the way in which these killings are committed, and encouraged, in the game."

Wow, "sustained and cumulative casual sadism." I suppose 'sporadic and specific' sadism would have been acceptable. I would also think that "visceral killing" could be quite a bit more than a 'little' alleviating when escaping an insane asylum which I'm sure rivals Dante's Inferno for punishment. But that's just me. Take-Two Interactive Software Chairman Strauss Zelnick said nah-baby-nah:

"We continue to stand behind this extraordinary game...['Manhunt 2'] brings a unique, formerly unheard-of cinematic quality to interactive entertainment. It is also a fine piece of art. I stand behind it fully."

Funny thing is, they are probably both right in their own cocktail circles. There isn't much in the way of analysis of the game's plot line other than it appears one has to fight one's way out of an insane asylum. Probably with more than a compelling argument.

This happens every once and awhile--someone tries to push the envelope for what's acceptable in a video game. I especially appreciate the "bleakness and callousness of tone" which they claim exists in the game. Shocking. The problem for Take-Two is the list of stores which sell 'Adult Only' video games is basically Truck Stops. Unless they tone it down, which Cooke claims he doesn't think they can do, it might be hard to sell the thing.

I never played Manhunt 1, so I can't can't comment on whether or not there may be redeeming factors in the franchise. I'm sure it's entertaining at some level. I have played a wide variety of games in which the basic premise is to kill people, steal things, blow stuff up, blah blah blah. This must be really bad, which almost makes me want to see what all the fuss is about. Almost. (I found a preview of the game. WARNING: if you don't enjoy stuff along the lines of say, the Saw movies, DO NOT watch this.)

Take-Two should be fine however, because their golden child, Grand Theft Auto IV, hits stores in October. A previous version of that game (San Andreas) sparked a Congressional inquiry when people found a 'sexual encounter' in the game. I can't wait.

I don't really mind ratings on video games, at least anymore than I care about them on movies, TV shows, or music. Of course, I'm over 18 and don't produce media that people rate. Most kids probably use 'em as a beacon, and like moths to a flame...

Professor's Addendum: Apparently the game is banned from sale in the UK, which is a whole different monster. Being hard to buy due to a rating is one thing. Completely banning the thing is quite another. After I watched the preview I found it's not a game I would particularly enjoy, but then I don't like many things others do. Slap a nasty rating on it and move on. One much more in-depth irate reaction is here.

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And then there were 2: OSU v UNC

We have a rematch of last year's finals in Omaha. The defending champs of Oregon State and the Tar Heels of North Carolina square off in what should be a dandy. OSU is 2-0, and the Heels are 4-2. However, they start a 'Best of Three' series with a clean slate. Tune in on Monday for reaction to Whitey being right, or the Beavers going back-to-back.

Just for the record: Whitey is torn, but happy there is still a ping or two left in the season.

Play Ball!

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The Case for/against Sammy Sosa

With Sammy hitting his 600 HR this week, there has been much discussion concerning whether or not this number will be enough to get him into the Hall of Fame. Without any evidence (other than the circumstantial) connecting him to the steroids hullabaloo, there seems to be little reason to keep him out.

Yes, Sammy became bigger. Yes, Sammy hit his home runs during an era with a not-so-small cloud over it. And yes, he claimed not to speak English during the Senate hearing. And was caught with a corked bat. But here are some numbers:

1. From 1993-2004 Sosa averaged close to 49 HR per season, and over his 18year career has averaged over 33 HR per season. Sammy remains the only player to hit over 60 HR's three times. For comparison, Bonds has hit over 50 only once with his 73 in 2001.
   
2. From 1995-2003 he averaged over 127 RBI's per season. For his career? Over 90 RBI's per year.
3. His OBP is an excruciatingly low .344 for someone with that many HR's. He walked over 100 times only twice.
4. His SLG percentage is even worse: .535 for his career ranks him 39th, behind Jim Thome and Jason Giambi and just ahead of Jim Edmonds.

Sosa was never considered a fantastic defensive player, so one can discount that aspect. He never had a truly bad batting average until the last couple of years (.273 overall). The real sticking point is, obviously, how genuine are these stats? He needs to be judged against those in his era, and I'm not paying the $29.99 to sort all those stats for you.

My gut reaction is he should be in, though he most likely will not make it on the first ballot judging by the vote Mark McGwire received this past go-round. That's fine, I understand the strange phenomena that claims, "Well, he's a Hall of Famer, but not a first ballot Hall of Famer." Whatever, it's not like the guys are getting better in retirement (unless you're Phil Rizzuto).

Put him in. Or just add a little asterisk room for Bonds, Sosa, and McGwire-but remember-steroids were not a banned substance in baseball back then (of course, they were illegal...) There are plenty of cheaters in the Hall of Fame (Gaylord Perry anyone?), and as Whitey says, "If you aren't cheatin' you ain't trying to win."

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Your pumpkin awaits

Whitey picked the Beavers last year, and they are looking better this year. The Anteater's glass slippers got sent packing by the defending champs last night. The Beavers return only two starters form their championship team of a year ago. One of them, the catcher Mitch Canham (the 57th pick by the San Diego Padres), has come to play. He's the anchor of this squad and doing a great job. The Beavers are set to try and do something that hasn't been done in 10 years. Repeat. The last team to pull off this feat: Gorilla Ball U, LSU out of the SEC. They did it with monster home runs and good pitching. They scored runs in bunches. This is why with a 9 run lead you see the winning team keeping the pedal to the metal. Back in that era, and even now, that lead is not safe. Just refer to the Rice's comeback against the Louisville Cardinals a few days ago.

You do have to give it up to UC Irvine. They came into this Final 64 and were laughed as the Professor eluded to in an earlier post. You can't find their merchandise in Omaha. Do you think that was a snub or just getting caught by surprise? The last time I checked the NCAA was in the money making business. Maybe it has to do with the fact that they took out #4 Texas, Wake Forest, and I guess I'll throw Brown in there just so they can prove they were in a regional. Come on! You have one of the top programs in Austin, Texas, coached by the great Augie Garrido, along with the Demon Deacons who fell one run short of beating the Tar Heels in the ACC tournament. You think UC Irvine? Right.

Next they traveled to Wichita State and took the Shockers (2-0) in a fashion that even alum Joe Carter thought was a nightmare. It was reality, sorry Joe. So as one can see, they came from nowhere and made a huge splash in Omaha. I guarantee the admissions office is getting an overflow of applications. Florida, after winning there championships got a big spike. I assume the same would be true for such a showing for the Anteaters.

It was a great story to watch and at times I found myself actually rooting for those guys. They showed what college baseball is all about. Heart! We'll have to wait until next year to see if the experience gets them back to Omaha. There's a good chance after a showing like this.

10W-40, or 30 Weight?

I just couldn't resist this. It's good to see that Team USA has started play, and it's guys like "Oil-Can" that make baseball fun after they're gone from the Bigs.

Stop the MADNESS!

VS

In case you haven't checked lately, wooden bats are expensive. Louisville Sluggers are ranging from $25 to $130 each. Yesterday, as I watched Around the Horn, Bill Plaschke of the L.A. Times said that aluminum bats were dangerous and should be replaced by wood. In college, not all teams have the luxury of the boatloads of money that many of their counterparts have. I'll go a step further.

The way a wooden bat is held is totally different. If you were to swing at an inside pitch (and connect) you break your bat, or at least bruise your hands bad enough to send you to the DL for a good week. If you catch that one with an aluminum bat, your pinkie stings for a minute, and you still have your "Wonder Boy".

At the Baseball Winter Meetings last December, the Professor and I had the privilege to see an aluminum bat which had a unique grip. I believe it was an independent bat maker, and the name escapes me, however it caused you to grip an aluminum bat the same way you would grip a wooden bat. The Don Mattingly V-Grip model, if I recall correctly. I said to the Professor, "This feels amazing in your hands." Mattingly did hit a little in his day.

The majority of injuries in baseball are due to improper sliding, such as sprained ankles and abrasions. As far as safety goes, aren't we the nation that straps helmets to our children and have them thump heads on the gridiron? Just look at Troy Aikman, Steve Young, or any of the 'Old School' football players and the way concussions have come to the forefront.

On Sports Law Blog there is an interesting article on this very subject. It states that baseball is the safest sport of all with 6.1 injuries per 1000 players. There are only 0.11 "catastrophic injuries" per 100,000 players. That's 0.0001%. I know this is no consolation to those who have been injured by a come backers. I wish you health.

And all woods are not made alike either. What's next? Mr. Bonds won't be using that Canadian Maple to send the 'Million Dollar Ball' into the stands? Ash is the most used wood, due to its abundance, rather than its density. Want density? Let's swing lignum vitae. For those of you who avoided Botany 466, that wood is three and a half times stronger than a Red Oak (and sinks in water)! Get the point? The aluminum bat companies, along with many baseball programs, have incorporated the 'technology' with safety by increasing the length to weight ratio (3 inches longer than the weight in ounces). This simulated the weight of the wood, so the aluminum can not be swung faster than wood.

The ping is the way that allows kids to play on a daily basis, and gives that smaller guy the ability to get a base hit, or even a dinger. Stop with the bashing of the bats. There is no economic way to keep the game invented by Americans back long before Political Correctness came to the plate. A good aluminum bat that will last as long as your child's playing career costs in the $35 range. The ball coming off the bat .02 seconds quicker is the price you pay to be "The Man on the Bump", with all eyes on you. I'd take 60' 6" and aluminum bats before I went on a crossing route with Ronnie Lott looking for my head!

Eater Nation!

For the first time in history at the CWS or in post-season play, a team has won consecutive extra innings game. I thought I'd seen just about all there was to see, but I was wrong. Apparently Cinderella's clock is set on Pacific Standard Time. The Anteaters took out the #5 Sun Devils in 10 innings after that 13 inning marathon against the Titans. You can now officially call them the "over achievers" from UC Irvine. They had a great year, but if you thought they would get a shot at the champs of a year ago, I say that's just kooky talk.

They now face the same, yet more difficult road, to the championship. The Tar Heels have a loss, as well as the Anteaters. However Carolina used 3 pitchers in their regulation length game. UC Irvine used everybody but the bat boy to get here. Carolina faces Rice in a rematch today in the early game, and the Beavers get to build a dam to stop the flood that is UC Irvine. Both teams are in a hole. It will take some crafty pitching with a little offense, so don't count them out.

Today the rubber hits the road. One loss and either the Anteaters or the Tar Heels go home. The Owls and Beavers look to be headed for the championship series due to this little nugget: 15 of the past 17 champs have come from the winners brackets. Winning 2 games sets you up to rest your bullpen and position players, a luxury that the losers bracket doesn't get. I know that your average team wouldn't have taken 23 innings, or a record number of pitchers, to get to this point, but they have and they live to play another day.

Professor's Addendum: With such a great story brewing in UC Irvine I figured we would add a picture of the ubiquitous 'Eater Nation' t-shirts to Whitey's post, which by now are everywhere in Omaha. Not so fast. I can't find 'em. Can't even find a picture. I did find this very interesting article, which states that Irvine has had to "jump through hoops" to try and get their apparel on the streets in Omaha due to licensing problems. Obviously the independent vendor has none of these problems, but for the official NCAA website (ncaasports.com) to offer a grand total of 0 Anteater products speaks to the not-so-amateur status of college athletics nowadays. When we find 'em, our loyal readers will be the first in line...

Jiffy Lubing Us

I made what appears now to be a grievous error in judgment when I decided to take my car into ye ole Jiffy Lube for an oil change last week. The video above documents more than a few California Jiffy Lube's greasing their customers for work not performed. [Full disclosure: So far as I can tell this video was shot during a period of May through October of last year by a local news watchdog in LA.]

This story has been running wild on the net, but I've been slightly reluctant to weigh in on the topic as I was waiting for some upper level response from Jiffy Lube, other than, "This is unacceptable," or, "Changes will be made."

Well, changes were made all right. In California. At a couple stores. They fired those caught on tape. Nothing sings corporate cover-up like a company who refuses to address rather serious allegations in any rational form. I'm not sure who is in charge of PR for this outfit, but they must have attended the Floyd Landis School for Damage Control. I particularly like the gentleman who lies about being a district manager. Wonderful.

So what makes me think this can't happen to me? Uh...nothing. I hope I actually got the oil change I paid for. I probably enjoy local news quite a bit less than the next guy, but this is the kind of stuff which makes watching the firemen save Aunt Jinny's cat worth your time. Maybe I'm wrong; I found this on their website:

We're Committed to Excellent Service

At Jiffy Lube^®, we strive to exceed your expectations every time you visit us — from the moment you drive onto the lot until the time you drive away. We take this goal so seriously, we're 100% committed to your satisfaction.

Well, that's reassuring. At least they're not serving us goat. Oh and by the way, next time you're in California I'd avoid EZ Lube as well.

Tarred Feathers

The Louisville Cardinals are done for the year. It's sad to see them going, but it just keeps my pick alive. Carolina scored their runs on an error and a few scattered hits, but the bats of the Cards went silent into the night. The Tar Heels pitching came to life after being shelled in the first loss. I think that may be the reason they played loose. Last year they left Omaha as losers. They won the first of the 3 game Championship Series, before Oregon State turned on the light switch and took home the trophy. This was Louisville's first trip to Rosenblatt, and I'm sure not their last.

After scoring 99 runs in 10 game this post season, they only plated 1 this afternoon. They woke some people up this year in the CWS by sending the Bulldogs home and playing today with all they had. This my friends is nothing to sneeze at.

Now the tricky part. North Carolina has to beat those Owls of Rice twice, before losing once. This is going to be a rematch of the blowout earlier this week. Rice will be ready, and they are rested. Coming off the win today may carry the first game to the Tar Heels in the next round; however, the Owls have been ranked in the Top 5 just about all year. Should be a dandy. Heels playing to stay alive and the Owls looking to punch their ticket to the SHIP.

Yikes

Yet another reason, if you needed one, to hate the Redskins. Or pity them.

Swing and a miss!

Derrek Lee and Chris Young got into it on Saturday, with the resulting suspensions weighing in at five games apiece. For those who don't know this story, Young plunked Lee in the left hand with a pitch. Unfortunately, his hand happened to be right next to his head.

We got, "I really don't mind getting hit..." from Lee and, "I will say this, I didn't throw at him..." from Young. Lee went on to mention he didn't particularly like getting hit with a ball aimed for his skull and some of the words Young uttered afterwards: "...he said some things to me I didn't like. It just escalated."

Yeah, you could say that. One theory is that the pitch was retaliation for Alfonso Soriano showboating on a homer the night before. Wha? Young had a no-hitter at the time. And, um, Lee doesn't resemble Soriano the last time I checked. I had a bit of a debate with Whitey over this same issue when Ted Lilly of the Cubs smacked Edgar Renteria (Braves) with a pitch...in the first inning. Lilly was tossed and the Cubs' bullpen was left to finish the game. That supposedly started two days before after Soriano (hmmm...) hit three home runs in a game. The next day Tim Hudson planted a two-seamer square in Soriano's back. So, of course, the next day Lilly then aims one at Renteria (who had a good game the night before) and...well, you get the idea.

I don't mind the 'unwritten rules' of baseball, in fact I kind of enjoy them. But c'mon people, aim for the perpetrator why don't you? I don't think Young meant to hit Lee, and he's obviously not going to own it even if he did. Take your base and move on. Or do what Renteria did--steal second and land a forearm across the second baseman's dome. Gotta be his fault.

Winning with a 6 in the E stat?

CS FULLERTON - 010 020 100 000 0 --4

UC IRVINE - 000 102 100 000 1 -- 5

The Anteaters of UC Irvine sent the Titans home early from the CWS. This was not your novice fans game. 13 innings, 5 hours, and 40 minutes (the longest game in CWS history) of baseball with only 9 runs crossing the plate the entire game. Take into consideration that the CWS started in 1950, and has been a tradition in Omaha ever since. Something that jumped off the line for me was that the Anteaters committed more errors than runs scored. They committed 6 errors while the Titans played without a mistake. This is not the first time this has happened in a baseball game, but it is an oddity.

Both pitching staffs put 3 guys on the hill, all of which pitched very well. Survival is the key to the elimination game, so give props to the coaches for staying with their guys. Sometimes managers will jerk a pitcher off the mound on a gut feeling, but these guys went down fighting with all they had. This puts UC Irvine in a better position to play their next game with most of their arms ready.

Arizona St. seems to be their likely opponent in the next elimination game, after being thumped by the Beavers. Oregon St. seems to be comfortable in Omaha after making their 3rd appearance in 3 years. This year the Beavers are 15 of 16 in stolen bases at the CWS, and that's just sick. Last year they took home the trophy, and it doesn't look like they want it to reside any other place than the Pacific Northwest. The Beavers jumped on the Sun Devils with both feet early and often.

As I sit here watching the game, my mind wonders, "Where is my favorite college baseball color analyst?" I'll say it, HR! Harold Reynolds. I think that this is the hardest thing to deal with as an observer of the CWS, and the Little League World Series also. Yes, Joe Morgan is the best at the professional level, but HR is second only to him. HR played his college ball up at OSU, and I'm sure it hurts for him not to be there to watch his beloved Beavers make a run at a back to back. Where have you gone Mr. Reynolds? We miss you.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em

It may be a hard sell to convince the sporting world that golfers are 'real' athletes when, on the toughest course in the toughest tournament, an overweight Angel Cabrera calmed his nerves with nicotine on his way to the U.S. Open championship. As Cabrera said, “There are some players that have psychologists. I smoke.” Tiger Woods' classy, skintight red shirt may have showed off his physique on Sunday, but it didn't help him make any birdies, which is what he really needed.

Cabrera's story is well documented in many places by now: Argentinian, worked as a caddy, never appeared on the Tonight Show. It is a story I like, and one which may remind us that 'taking the field' instead of Tiger may not be a bad choice. Sunday's coverage on NBC was a virtual love-in for Tiger Woods and I forget, did Johnny Miller shoot a 63 on Sunday in the Open? Oh and by the way, some guy named Cabrera (who snubbed a post-round interview) is, um, the winner. Nothing the American media likes more than a major champion who has a tenuous grasp on the English language.

Congratulations to Cabrera. While he stumbled a bit into the clubhouse (bogeys on 16 and 17), he pulled it together enough to par the 18th, not only the toughest hole on the course but one of the most challenging in Open history. Not easy to do with Jim Furyk and Tiger Woods breathing down your neck.

“I watched all the majors on TV when I was a kid,” Cabrera said. “I never thought I would be here at this moment.” He may never win another, but who cares? He has this: $1.26 million, a five-year exemption on the PGA Tour, an exemption into the Open for 10 years, and a five-year exemption into the Masters, British Open, P.G.A. Championship and Players Championship. Not bad for a caddy from Argentina.

On a side note, I want to give it up for Whitey who claimed that, "6 over wins this tournament hands down!" On Thursday. One guy beat 6 over. Cabrera. Scanning the leaderboard, only two guys hit under par on Sunday: Cabrera and Anthony Kim; Cabrera was the only player with two rounds under par. Here's the list of players who, if they had played even with Cabrera (or hit even par) on Sunday, would have won or at least been in a playoff:

1. Tiger Woods
2. Jim Furyck
3. Bubba Watson
4. Justin Rose
5. Stephen Ames
6. Paul Casey
7. Aaron Baddeley
   

Bulldogs.....GONE!

Game 5 of the CWS just ended, and the Cardinals of Louisville hung 12 runs on the Bulldogs of Mississippi St. The Cards have scored an amazing 99 runs in the past 10 games. This was their first win at Rosenblatt Stadium. They now wait to see who they will play. North Carolina meets Rice in the nightcap of the day. The loser of that game will have their hands full with Louisville. With the 5th best pitching staff in the country and an offense of mashers, it's no wonder how they have become the darlings of Omaha. They played good defense, which was their downfall against Rice.

Louisville is the only University to place a team in the Final 4, a BCS bowl, and the CWS. I thought that was a factoid that need to be stated. It's just an amazing stat, and a testament to the commitment at the school to the athletic department. Basketball, you think Louisville. Football, somewhat a stretch, but if you picked them to go to Omaha I hope you bet the farm on it, or at least plan on playing the lotto this week.

Professor's response: Not only did Louisville crush MSU, they now get to face a UNC team that did not look so hot in their game against Rice. UNC starters have lasted a total of three innings combined in their first two games, and the Tarheels have used, count 'em, 12 pitchers. Should be fun...

Third wheel?

Kevin O'Sullivan has been named the new Head Coach at the University of Florida. He's leaving a great program at Clemson to take on Championshipville. Try being the baseball coach that joins Urban and Billy the Kid in Gainesville. Tough road, but I'm happy as a clam. I don't want to be called a "homer", but this guy gets it done. If there is any doubt, just read his accomplishments for yourself; Bob Dylan couldn't wax poetry like this. Give the respect to the Clemson Web page. They did the writing. The Gators just got the coach. As a fan of the Gators, and more so of baseball, I couldn't be happier for both the University of Florida and Kevin O'Sullivan. Let the next trip to Omaha start ..............now!

What's Next in Omaha

Well kids, the first round of the CWS is over and the Tar Heels took out the Bulldogs. Rice won the "fight of the fowl" with Louisville. The Sun Devils needed a comeback to beat the Anteaters, and the reigning champs of OSU (that's not the Buckeyes) got past the Titans of Cal St. Fullerton. That's as close to chalk as you can get. Now comes the interesting part.

The CWS is the only tournament that you can lose twice and still win the National Championship. In the setup, there are 2 brackets where 4 teams play double elimination. This means that the losers of the first round play each other, and the winners do as well. With one more loss the seasons of the MSU, Louisville, UC Irvine, and Cal St. Fullerton will be over. It looks like this:

Game 5 -- Louisville (46-23) vs. Mississippi State (38-21)
Game 6 -- Rice (55-12) vs. North Carolina (54-13)
Game 7 -- UC Irvine (45-16-1) vs. Cal State Fullerton (38-24)
Game 8 -- Arizona State (47-13) vs. Oregon State (45-18)

with the Winner of Game 5 vs. Loser of Game 6 and the Winner of Game 7 vs. Loser of Game 8.

Winning the first 2 games for a team is most important, because they have in all probability used less of their bullpens than the loser's bracket teams. Which leads to my prediction that Carolina wins it all.

Sitting with a SEC fan, I hear "there's no way the Tar Heels take it all." The starter in their first game got yanked early in the game, which some would argue is a bad thing. However he will be able to come back at any point to relieve a starter, or even start himself. Sometimes the ball bounces in a funny way, and that's just what it does in Omaha. It brings to light the pressure of all 27 outs. All 4 winners were losing at some point in their first round games and came back with the defense making mistakes, or just not performing up to snuff. Yes there has to be offense, but like the Rice coach says, make the other team make the plays in the field.

The Beavers look as if they have no thought as to leave the trophy in Omaha with another institution, but we'll let the baseball gods see to that.

Today's match-ups will narrow the field by 2, and Monday games, another 2. That's 4 out of 8.

So what do I mean by losing twice and still winning the CWS. After double elimination play has whittled the teams to 2; those 2 teams play a best of 3 series. Just like last year, the Tar Heels won the first game and were just a few outs from winning the second game, but as Omaha would have it the Beavers rallied and went on to win the CWS. Some would say that the Tar Heels choked, but I say they just had the wheels fell off. Momentum is the biggest force in baseball, and twice that in the collegiate ranks.

Last year, the Professor and I were watching as the field turned to sludge for the Tar Heels, and the Beavers went on a power surge. Let's see who the pressure gets to today, and we'll talk later.

What more could you ask?

A couple nights ago the Spurs went on to win the NBA Championship over the Cavaliers. This comes as no shock to most, but the fact of the matter is Lebron is a young man. The Spurs are by no means flashy, but they are fundamentally sound. They take one more pass to get an open shot, they look for the open man, and push the ball to the basket. They have a triple threat with Duncan, Ginobili, and the guy (Parker) who is to wed the chick that gets more airtime than all the above.

People will wonder aloud if the Spurs are a dynasty, and I would have to say so. I watched Jordan grow from his rookie year, in which he had no help. Through the baseball years, through his retirement, and his return to the Wizards. That's the closest thing to Lebron I can think of. Jordan went to the Wizards as a basketball god. He had as much help there as James does in Cleveland. None. How did that work out? Not so good.

For as much as we think that Lebron is the next coming of Mr. Jordan, we forget that it took him getting a guy named Pippen before he got a ring. Sure, give Lebron an Agent 0, or Kevin Garnett, and he'll get his rings. Until then allow him to grow up and into his own. Let him drop 60 on some team and lead The Sporting News on a next deity chase. In this world we forget that the man we think of as the greatest [insert name here Bird, Magic, or one of your own] wasn't the man until he had a sidekick. Let's just hold off the coronation until Lebron gets his own Robin.

Long Shot

Now that the fiasco that was my Southwest trip is over, I've had a little time to scan the world of sports for something to watch. Bam, here it is. At the U. S. Open being played at Oakmont C.C. there is a Par 3 that from the tips measures 288 yards. Yes ladies and gentlemen, that's what I said, because it is hard to stutter when the words are written down.

In all honesty, I don't have a club in my bag that could reach it. I would have to lay up at 210, because not only is it too far, but the ball has to fly straight. In this age of Flintstone sized drivers and balls more akin to a super balls than the real thing, I'm thinking the pros won't have a problem. Tiger can get there with an iron. Watching those guys putt on the greens is like going to your local putt-putt and playing with a egg. Balls roll in a manner which can only be described as against the laws of physics. There are 186 bunkers, one of which is referred to as the church pews. 5 inch rough; you could lose a Cooper Mini in that.

1 under is the leader in the clubhouse after the first day, but the names you see today will have to play in the afternoon tomorrow. This will make the course harder, and faster for the guys who posted those low scores in the morning on Thursday. So whoever comes out on top of the pile of bent clubs is truly the Open Champ. No if's, and's, or but's about it, this is the hardest course I've seen.

6 over wins this tournament hands down!

more at twiigs.com...

The past is the present

In 2005, the Oregon St. Beavers were the first team sent packing from Omaha. The following year with the experience that was gained, they won it all. I picked that one in the same way that I will pick this one, or at least make the argument. Last year the Beavers won the CWS, sending the Tar Heels home with the final loss of the year. Carolina sends a great deal of fire power to the bump this year, and the bitter taste of defeat will be fresh in their mouths. They are hungry and coming off a series with the "other" Carolina, the mashers from the SEC.

Given the fact that they are one of the higher seeds to get in, and their loss of the past year, it would be a safe pony to put your sawbuck on. Also the teams that are perennial powerhouses aren't there....i.e. Texas, USC, LSU, and any team coming out of Florida. The Tar Heels should take the cake. It's not going to be easy, and some of the best teams in the country are playing for the same title. Cal St. Fullerton, and Rice are no pushovers, and I've seen a couple of prognosticators pick the Anteaters of UC Irvine.

Okay, just for the record I'm happy to see new faces in the CWS but as for experience, it's priceless. For these young men, especially North Carolina, they have paid their way with a hard fought loss last year and will dig deep to leave Omaha with the sweetest taste of all. VICTORY!

Omaha

As we wait for Whitey to hand down his College World Series predictions from above I present the Professor's Punctual Power Rankings based on exhaustive research and, well, my gut:

1. Arizona State
2. Rice
3. North Carolina
4. UC Irvine
5. Louisville
6. Oregon State
7. Mississippi State
8. Cal State Fullerton

My pick? Louisville, as they are the only one of these teams I have seen play live and I'm a Big East type o' guy. But more than that, I think Zack Pitts is the real deal and the Cardinals lineup presents a challenge top to bottom (ask Oklahoma State who had 20 runs come across in their final match-up). Regardless, this is one of the best sporting events you can find and I highly recommend catching as many of the games as you can. Don't let the ping of aluminum dissuade you...you won't see intensity like this on a baseball field until October and even that doesn't quite compare. For the majority of these guys it will be the last baseball they ever play. And it shows. Louisville over ASU in 3!

No-No-No-No

Justin Verlander's no-hitter the other night brings to mind one of the most interesting accomplishments in baseball, one which comes up every time someone hurls a no hitter: Cincinnati Red Johnny Vander Meer's back-to-back no-hitters.

As of 1938, only two players had pitched two or more no-hitters...in a career (bonus points: name 'em, answer at the end). On June 11, 1938 Johnny Vander Meer threw #1 against the Boston Bees (who would eventually become the Atlanta Braves). #2 came 4 nights later (try that one today) when Vander Meer no-hit the Brooklyn Dodgers in the first ever night game at Ebbets Field. (For a complete recap of this exciting contest, go here.)

A grand total of 234 no-hitters have been thrown in Major League history giving us, obviously, that many chances for the back-to-back feat to happen (of course, one of those times was a chance for three in a row...) An interesting side note: I decided to look up the grand total of cycles hit in MLB history: 275, and no one has ever hit for the cycle in back-to-back games.

But as for back-to-back no-hitters, even though I'm a die hard Red's fan and have enjoyed Vander Meer's claim to fame, I'll be rooting for Mr. Verlander next time he takes the mound. 131 years after the first no-hitter we'll have yet another chance to witness baseball history.

The two pitchers with two or more no-no's in 1938? Larry Corcoran (the first pitcher with 3) and Christy Mathewson. For a complete list of all MLB no-hitters make contact with this.

No runs is fun

Pitching is a game unto itself. One would think that watching 2 guys slinging the best they've got-and not getting hit out of the park-would be boring. I think brilliance. I had the opportunity to watch a pitching match up that, to the average fan, is like nails on a chalk board. However, I was in bliss. C.C. Sabathia and Aaron Harang went scoreless though 9 innings Sunday afternoon until the Reds finally got a run across in the 12th.

The few people sitting around me were up and down all game. Basically, they thought it was a bad one. A young lady said to me, "Why won't they score?" I replied, "They can't, they're getting shut down." There were a total of 13 hits in the entire game: To the novice this is an abomination; to a pitcher, almost heaven.

	Final 12		3		4		5		6		7		8		9		10		11		12		R		H		E
	Cleveland	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	7	0
	Cincinnati	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	1	6	0

Snooze you lose

Or, in the case of the NBA finals, you may get some much needed sleep. The game everyone probably decided to check out to see if the Cavs could make it a series worth watching found themselves subject to one of the most anemic offensive (in more ways than one) displays in Finals' history. Cleveland shot 36.7% from the field and built a house from beyond the arc going 3-19. It was enough to make one wonder how bad the NBA really is nowadays if these are the two best teams.

You could give it up for the Spurs defense, but I think the Cavs would have shot that bad in an empty gym. I'm already bored with this topic.

more at twiigs.com...

Heavy Metal

Super Regionals of the NCAA Men's Baseball, "Road To Omaha," start today. One day after the MLB draft was completed. Does the NFL or the NBA have their draft before the their amateur seasons are over? "What's the beef," you may ask? Simply this: You're a senior athlete at a college (playing one of the big three sports), you're still in the post season, and undrafted. Your baseball career is over if you lose.

Lose and go home takes on a whole new meaning to these guys. There is no pro contract for most college athletes but unlike baseball, they usually play their last game without fully knowing that. They know it's over in the sense that they're going to work in some other capacity in life, and still play hard. They show emotion that has long ago left the bigs. Tears? They are guaranteed. Rally caps, and finally a pile up on the mound at Rosenblatt Stadium. It will all be over, a new champ crowned. All but one standing with a loss in their last game. Even most of the winning team will be just another guy on your softball team.

Whitey's mention of the Taliban in his previous post got me to thinking of acceptable fun and games in the fine country of Afghanistan, namely Bukashi. The rules are simple (although there are apparently two versions: simple and simpler). You have a bunch of guys (I'm sure women are not allowed in this fun) on horseback trying to snag the carcass of a headless goat or calf and either drag the thing free of your fellow competitors (simpler) or haul the carcass around a flag or marker at one end of the "field" (or dirt, if you are not colorblind) and then toss it into a scoring circle (much more complex). I like that the 'scoring circle' is called the "Circle of Justice," although I'm not quite sure how justice is served in this game. My source and at least some of the rules are here.

One would think this game would have worldwide appeal, but you would be wrong. I was unable to track down how many men are involved, but it seems to be more than 2 and less than 1,000. In case the NBA finals is putting you to sleep check out some very fine Bukashi here. I particularly like the soundtrack.

Head Scratcher?

Sitting around watching the NBA Finals, which I found to mimic tryptophan, I started to do a little reading up on Micheal Vick, and this whole dogfighting issue.

I know that everyone is innocent until proven guilty; however, the Feds coming into the investigation has raised some eyebrows. The Sheriff of Surry County Va. seems to think the Federal intervention may involve Vick's star status and/or the racial element.

Racial thing; I counter with this thought. When you look to be waist deep in an activity that the Taliban outlawed......you're up to no good.

Lord Stanley?

Well, ladies and gentlemen; SO. Cal is thawing out this morning after bringing home THE best trophy in sports. The Ducks imposed their will on an Eastern team ala "The Great One". And a Canadian team to boot.

I know the NHL is playing on the Oxygen network, during paid programming, but it's still the best trophy! Name another sport where guys won't even touch it if they haven't won it (and they say baseball players a superstitious); where at the end of the finals, the men who fought like warriors shake hands. Then the guy with the C on his jersey raises "THE CUP", skates around the ice, kisses it, and each player hands it to another as they celebrate. And then the Cup makes it tour in the off season; each player and some of the staff get it for a period of time, to do with pretty much as they like.
So I ask you: what is the best trophy in sports?

more at twiigs.com...

The cream always rises

Gary Sheffield stirred up a little more dirt than Sweet Lou did a few days ago. Yes, we all have a desire to have a guy that will go to the wall for you. That rant was to show his players, just how bad they were playing. Time will tell if it worked, it's a 162 game marathon.

The dirt that Sheffield kicked up was more like unto Jose Canseco. In this time of looking back at the things that no one controlled the MLB got it wrong, or just plain closed its eyes. It's more supply and demand than black and white. Who's the next Jordan? Lebron?

Why not go and look at what he said from this point of view. The biggest thing MLB has for the training of inner city children is the RBI program. RBI should be funded like a 'farm league.' When I started playing baseball that's what it was, a 6years old, down on the farm. From there: bronco, mustang, pony, colt and then on to high school and college.

The RBI program is in 200 cities. Wow, 200 inner cities. How many baseball camps are in Latin America? My guess: Mucho. When you are in a country where you see a playground and a hoop, chances are you're not in the Dominican Republic. If you see four kids with a stick and a ball in the street, can you tell me if your in Panama or just one of the 1000s of inner cities in America?

In a time when media covers some young athletes like Lebron James, name the next Dave Winfield and I'll make sure to catch his next Little League game. There is a stark truth to what Shef said. Kids need a place to let the cream rise to the top! No matter what color the milk is.

The only question I have is will MLB treat RBI the way they did greenies, or roids?

The Homer Cometh...but is his Hair worthy?

Ah, the time has come to stop asking, "What sort of circus pony is running this team?" Well, maybe not, but Mr. Homer Bailey will make his first start for the Reds Friday night against a not-so-bad Cleveland squad. About time if you ask me, but the Reds are not necessarily known for producing pitching (name one, and not Tom Browning) and they have never, I repeat, never had a Cy Young award winner. Heck, the Royals have two (Saberhagen and guess...the winner gets free tickets to River Downs).

But enough of that. Take the poll if you want to discuss
his impact. I will say this: he can't be any worse than Milton and the gang of thieves they've been paying to lose games up to this point. Should he succeed, it will be fun to watch the bullpen flush his young hopes with our dreams of an over .500 baseball team. If there is anything the Reds are good at (other than striking out) it's finding unique ways to lose games-Ryan Freel leads all baseball having been picked off 4 times, and he's got a .313 OBP.

The biggest problem may be the battle for the ladies' hearts here in the Queen City. The
reigning champ, in a typical pose:

The contender:The battle is on! Homer better play a mean guitar, or at least hit Mt. Adams on a routine basis.

more at twiigs.com...

Say What You Want

As a sometime broadcaster, I appreciate our fine U.S. court system ruling which basically states I can say whatever the hell I want. Now it's up to the FCC to fabricate some jacked up reasons why their policy is not "arbitrary and capricious." Of course, FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps said of the ruling, "...any broadcaster who sees this decision as a green light to send more gratuitous sex and violence into our homes would be making a huge mistake."

The funny thing is the FCC had four examples they trotted out before the court, none of which had anything to do with sex or violence. To summarize:

1. Cher said, "F--- 'em" during a Billboard Music Award show.
2. Nicole Richie said, "Have you ever tried to get cow s--- out of a Prada purse? It's not so f------ simple" during a different Billboard Music Award show. And to answer your question Nicole, no, I have never tried to get cow s--- out of a Prada purse.
   

Search as I could the other examples escaped me, although the "fleeting expletive" policy was put in place after Bono blurted out "f------ brilliant" during a 2003 Golden Globes broadcast and Janet Jackson had everyone throwing dollar bills at the screen during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show. (In case you were wondering why I am doing t--- and not this, that's a fair question, especially considering no one is going to take me to court and this post being focused on the ability to do just that. I don't see the need to gratuitously throw out expletives, but then again it's not as if y'all can't play Hangman and figure out the letters missing. Personal choice? Slightly different media presentation? When one says these things in print they are not, shall we say, "fleeting." I have no intention of playing censor on this blog, but at the same time we would like to present at least some level of decorum, or at least common sense. I will most likely change the --- to 'uck' and 'hit' when this post hits the archive. Feel free to shred me at will for this meandering explanation...)

I would hazard a guess that close to 90% of the time either "fuck" or "shit" (there!) is used during a broadcast it doesn't have anything to do with sex or violence. One could claim that their use makes you (or your grandma) cringe, but that comes from something inherent in the word itself not some arbitrary contextual meaning. The words are quite versatile and often times it would be near impossible to nail down a specific definition for either. One of the more humorous examples of this is here.

The FCC basically limits its wrath to the big national broadcast companies like NBC, CBS, ABC and so on because, well I'll let FCC Chairman Kevin Martin explain. He finds it "hard to believe that the New York court would tell American families that 'shit' and 'fuck' are fine to say on broadcast television during the hours when children are most likely to be in the audience." And there you have it: protect the children. I forget what age I learned these words, but I guarantee you that quickly thereafter I learned I wasn't throwing out the F-bomb at the dinner table. I distinctly remember my mother lambasting me for using the word 'suck' one day.

And therein lies the crux of the matter. While it may be more difficult nowadays for parents to limit and perhaps monitor the media their children experience, I am more comfortable leaving that task to society at large than the knuckleheads at the FCC. When the public found nasty Miss Jackson's halftime flash a bit too much they complained, fines were issued, and we now have a 7 second delay in the halftime show. The FCC has an important role, but it should be more reactive then proactive. Advertisers can get corporations to do within a week what would take the Government 4 years. Send your kids to bed before Dallas comes on. Hell, tell 'em to read a book; there's never any profanity in those...

Before anyone judges.....

Take into account that Billy Donovan worked his way to Gainesville. He coached up a group of kids into history. This, in my humble opinion, is production well beyond what was expected, much less hoped for. I spoke with one of the Gator faithful who seemed fine with Billy leaving. He said, "He outplayed his contract."
I, hearing this from a fan, was stunned. Most people would jump off a cliff if their coach went off to more than double his salary: "It's all about the money!"
However, try this hat on for size. You double your salary and get a guaranteed 5 year contract. (Nobody is turning down that deal). Or, you could stay where you are for good money and become an icon. Dean Smith and Coach K are icons however at basketball schools and on 'tobacco road' no less. Try being a basketball icon at one of the best football programs in the country. That's history. There are people that don't think with their pockets, but with their hearts.
So ask yourself: Icon or the dollar, what do you want to be?

Remember, if the tail stinks; the head is dead.

It Begins.